I have vivid memories of a traumatic experience with a pediatrician when I was just seven years old. It was a struggle to convey my discomfort to my mother, as I lacked the proper terminology to express my feelings. I simply told her that it didn’t seem right for a doctor to touch me inappropriately when I was only there for a common cold. The inappropriate touching lasted longer than it should have, which was my first indication that something was amiss. Each visit to the doctor became a source of dread, as I felt my discomfort was overlooked by my mother, who had always been protective in other circumstances.
Ironically, while my mother had strict rules about who could change my diaper and limited sleepovers due to trust issues with other adults, she failed to recognize the danger in front of her. She trusted the doctor more than her own daughter. Eventually, she switched pediatricians after I found my voice, and I was grateful to have a doctor who respected my boundaries as I matured and could make decisions about my own body.
The recent scandals surrounding medical professionals have illuminated a stark reality: many children face similar situations, and we need to acknowledge that doctors are not infallible. It is crucial to empower our children, regardless of gender, to understand and assert their bodily autonomy. As a mother of a son, I am adamant that he should not endure naked physicals until he reaches an age where he can express whether he is comfortable with it.
Some may argue that my stance is overly cautious, claiming that a three-year-old cannot truly understand body autonomy. My response is simple: “Why not?” I consciously model respect for my son’s body in our daily interactions. For instance, I don’t force him into the bath if he resists; instead, I wait until he’s ready. When it comes to potty training, we don’t impose strict rules either. If he wants to keep his underwear on, he can. At medical appointments, we communicate clearly with our pediatrician about our boundaries, and I’m pleased to report that he respects our wishes.
Critics might contend that I’m hindering my child’s health by denying necessary medical examinations. However, if you believe that a doctor’s primary responsibility is merely to tick items off a checklist for insurance purposes, you may not be aware of the importance of understanding the purpose behind each examination. Research shows that many doctors do not address patient modesty adequately, and it’s noteworthy that European practices often allow children to remain clothed during physicals—so why is this not the case in America?
I maintain that regular checks of my son’s testicles are unnecessary unless there are specific concerns. More importantly, I serve as the only voice advocating for my son in medical settings. If I cannot ensure that he is comfortable with a stranger touching him, I will not allow it. Forcing him into situations where he feels uneasy could lead to confusion about bodily autonomy and the mixed messages regarding who can touch him. This confusion can lead down a dangerous path, and I am determined to prevent that.
I may be seen as overprotective, but I find solace in teaching my son that he has control over his own body. This understanding extends to respecting the choices of others as well, especially girls who often find themselves in challenging situations regarding their own bodily autonomy. The battle for women’s rights to make decisions about their bodies is ongoing, and it’s never too early to instill these values in our children. Every child, no matter how small, deserves to know they have thoughts and feelings that should be respected.
By ensuring that my son learns about body autonomy, I am laying the groundwork for a more informed generation that understands the importance of consent. If you’re interested in exploring more about the topic of bodily autonomy and fertility, you can check out this excellent resource from Cleveland Clinic on IVF and fertility preservation. For those considering family planning options, consider reading more about our cryobaby home insemination syringe kit for additional insights. For comprehensive perspectives on similar topics, visit Modern Family Blog.
In summary, my commitment to protecting my son’s body autonomy is unwavering. I believe that every child deserves to have their boundaries respected, and as parents, it is our responsibility to educate them about their rights.