Lessons Learned from Being Raised by a Resilient Single Mother

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My mother was the type of parent who cherished every little memory. From handmade cards to holiday ornaments, she kept it all. It wasn’t until I got married and inherited a hefty chest filled with these nostalgic keepsakes that I grasped just how much she valued those moments. Inside this treasure trove were memories from every stage of my life, including a drawing I made back in 1990 when I was just six years old. It was titled “Jessie’s Future Family” and depicted a mother, four children, a dog, and two horses — but notably absent was a father figure.

Back then, school counselors were concerned about these drawings. They assumed that because I was a child of divorce, the absence of a male figure suggested deeper emotional issues. Looking back, I find that amusing. The reality was that I simply didn’t think I needed one.

Today, as a mother myself, I realize that while I now have a wonderful husband who is my partner in life, I possess the strength and skills to raise my children on my own if necessary. From my strong single mother, I inherited invaluable lessons that go far beyond what could fit into that overflowing trunk.

Money Matters, Even If It Doesn’t Buy Happiness

While it’s often said that the best things in life are free, basic needs like shelter and food are not. Growing up, financial stability was a challenge for my mother, and the stress that comes with financial insecurity is unparalleled. She taught me that while money isn’t the key to happiness, it undeniably plays a role in providing for one’s family. This understanding drives me to work hard and ensure that I can offer for my children independently, should the need arise.

Challenging Gender Norms

I am grateful for my husband’s support, especially when it comes to tackling household tasks that stump me. My mother, however, didn’t have that luxury. Yet, our home was well-maintained. I vividly recall her mowing the lawn, changing the oil in our minivan, and even doing minor repairs around the house. She embodied defiance against traditional gender roles, and I aspire to follow her example.

The True Nature of Sacrifice in Parenting

Parenting is an immense responsibility. My husband and I often feel overwhelmed, and we share that load together. My mother, however, shouldered it alone. The level of sacrifice she made to raise us in a nurturing environment while providing for our needs still astounds me. Single mothers deserve all the respect and support, not the stigma often unjustly attached to them.

I Am Enough

I can only imagine the fear my mother felt when she realized she was solely responsible for raising three children. Yet, she faced that challenge without flinching. Watching her balance work, education, and family taught me that I can be enough for my children, even in difficult times. Our family faced financial struggles, but we always had each other, and that bond was truly sufficient.

My mother imparted these life lessons and so many more. Being raised by such a strong woman shaped who I am today, and I will always be thankful for her influence.

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