You were never meant to leave him. You were never meant to disrupt the seemingly perfect family life you were nurturing with your little ones. You were meant to stay put, to be content with “good enough,” and to endure for the sake of your children.
You were supposed to believe that the pure joy you witnessed in others was not destined for you. That having a life beyond motherhood wasn’t essential. That your identity had shrunk to merely being “mom” — the only role that truly mattered. You were expected to suppress that nagging feeling that something was amiss. You were to dismiss the thoughts of a more fulfilling existence, never pondering what a different kind of partnership might feel like.
He was meant to fulfill his commitments, and you were meant to do the same; neither of you were supposed to waver or reconsider. So, when you first crossed paths with Lisa, you weren’t supposed to lock eyes. You weren’t meant to linger a moment too long or entertain thoughts of a life enriched by her presence.
You were never meant to contemplate stepping away from him, from that conventional life, to pursue a connection with her and the unconventional path it offered. Wanting that was simply off-limits; nobody was meant to desire such a thing. You were supposed to focus only on what was good, right, responsible, and necessary. You were expected to remain hidden until your children were old enough to let you reemerge.
You weren’t meant to break free before anyone gave you permission. You weren’t supposed to be the architect of your own choices, especially not to choose her. You were meant to stay in a state of stagnation, complacency, and acceptability. For the kids. For him. For societal norms. For expectations.
You weren’t meant to redefine the rules or embark on a new journey; that was never supposed to be an option. And Lisa? She was never meant to encourage you. She was supposed to pull away, to persuade you to fight for the life you had built, to work harder at it, to change your mind. Yes, for the kids.
She was expected to be the rational one, the one who understood the significance of family unity. The one who insisted that leaving would be unfair to him, compelling you to stay. She wasn’t supposed to crave this life either. She was not to witness a glimpse of a passionate existence and move toward it. She was never supposed to appreciate the beauty found within chaos. She was not meant to recognize you.
She was supposed to grow impatient, demand more, and ultimately break before your life unraveled too much. She wasn’t supposed to be the missing piece you had yearned for all along. But she was.
When you chose her, and she reciprocated, you broke free from the constraints of someone else’s expectations. You stopped adhering to the “shoulds,” “have-tos,” “mustn’ts,” and “cants.” You realized that the choice to pursue a fulfilling life was the only choice that truly mattered, especially for your children. That showing up as your authentic self was the best way to raise them. Nothing less, nothing more.
He would be fine because he deserved the joy you discovered with Lisa. He deserved the opportunity to play a different, more fulfilling game as well. And your children would be liberated from the weight of an “okay” existence; they would learn to aspire for more than just “fine.” Surrounded by love, they would experience the richness of life.
They witnessed you dismantle a life that appeared perfect on the surface in exchange for one that felt perfect within. They observed your struggles, your resilience, and your ability to rebuild something even stronger, day by day. You instilled in them the lesson that messiness is not synonymous with failure, that being different is not wrong, and that true strength lies in authenticity.
When others question the unconventional game you are now playing, it’s not out of a desire to join you. It’s out of fear that they are still confined to outdated rules, living a life that is merely “okay.” Your choices may have unsettled them, and Lisa’s presence might unsettle them even more. They have never witnessed love manifest in such a powerful way. They have not navigated through challenges only to emerge, scarred yet stronger. They might doubt the reality of your happiness, searching for flaws in both you and Lisa.
You cannot make the bold choice to pursue happiness and emerge stronger without instilling a sense of possibility in them. If you can, then so can they. They can change their paths. He can reconsider. She can choose differently. Just being “okay” might not suffice.
Your journey reminds them that love is worth the risks, that life is meant to be fully lived, and they might not want that constant reminder. They prefer the safety of the “good enough” bubble. So let them remain there. You have stepped out of that bubble to share a vibrant love with Lisa. Together, you are experiencing a love that many will never know.
And the kids? They are thriving, far beyond just being alright. Dismiss the naysayers. You were always meant to choose this path. Do not let their fears dictate your journey; show them that their rules never applied to you. Continue to embrace your whole self, just as you were always meant to.
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Summary
This article discusses the societal expectations surrounding marriage and motherhood, and how one individual’s choice to leave an unfulfilling marriage for love represents a radical departure from those norms. It emphasizes the importance of personal happiness and authenticity, both for oneself and for children, while challenging the idea that one should settle for an acceptable life.