By: Sarah Parker
Updated: Feb. 17, 2023
You didn’t choose this role, did you? Being the eldest sibling came with responsibilities you probably never anticipated. If you had envisioned it, you might not have fully grasped what it meant to be the “big kid.” Real babies and toddlers can’t be compared to the stuffed animals you used to tuck into bed in shoe boxes, can they?
Yet, you manage to care for your younger siblings with an impressive amount of patience and kindness (well, most of the time), often handling the demands of an unruly toddler better than many adults. It’s truly commendable.
Older kids are the unsung champions of parenting. Thank you for holding the fussy baby while we scramble through our chaotic bags searching for our credit card just to buy those much-needed diapers and make it home before nap time. And to the 11-year-old who organized a little adventure for toddlers in the park that one sunny afternoon, allowing the moms to have some much-needed adult conversation? We are so grateful. You have no idea how vital that was for us.
Every time you share your snacks, dance with our little ones, or tickle them into laughter, you lighten our burdens. When we’re weary and frazzled, you step in with your youthful enthusiasm, rejuvenating our spirits.
Sometimes, adults place a bit too much on your shoulders. “Watch your little sister!” “Secure the baby in her car seat! NOW!” “Carry this inside!” “Do something, ANYTHING, to get your brother to use the potty so we can leave on time!”
For that, I apologize on behalf of all parents. We’re not perfect; we get overwhelmed and frazzled, sometimes feeling like we might just lose it. But that moment when you had your brother pretend to be a puppy just to get him to use the potty? Pure genius! That’s why we rely on you. You’re at an age where you can be responsible, yet still young enough to view the world with fresh eyes and come up with creative solutions that often elude us adults.
But your contribution is more than just lending a helping hand in the chaos of daily life. You are invaluable in ways that extend beyond mere assistance.
Time and again, we tell the older children how much the younger ones look up to them. “They idolize you,” we say. This isn’t just a statement; it’s a truth that reflects the admiration we all feel for you. The hours you dedicate to perfecting your gymnastics routine or mastering that piano piece are awe-inspiring.
You serve as role models, not only for the younger kids but for us adults too. I appreciate having you around so my 5-year-old can attend your gymnastics practices, piano recitals, or middle school performances. She sees the possibilities in her future, inspired by the hard work you put in. These life lessons are unique to you “big kids,” and you impart them effortlessly.
As a mother of one of the younger kids, I deeply thank you—older cousins, big siblings, teenage babysitters, and middle-schoolers at the park. Whether you diligently complete your homework, help wipe a tiny nose, or swoop in to comfort a crying baby so their mom can take a breather, I often feel a lump in my throat. Your actions stir a mix of gratitude and joy within me. You all are amazing, and I know that soon enough, as these little ones grow into their own big kids, they will be just as incredible because of the positive examples you’ve set.
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In summary, older kids play a vital role in the lives of their younger siblings and parents alike, offering support, inspiration, and a fresh perspective on life. Their contributions go well beyond mere assistance, shaping a nurturing and encouraging environment for all.