Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)—the moment I heard these words attached to my child, a whirlwind of emotions took over. My thoughts were chaotic as I grappled with the realization that we were entering a new chapter of our lives, one that didn’t align with my meticulously crafted vision of parenthood. I had always envisioned my children as high-achieving students, excelling in both academics and extracurricular activities, while embodying health, obedience, and emotional resilience, all under the guidance of parents who appeared to have it all figured out.
It’s amusing now to reflect on my naivety. Life has a way of pulling the rug out from under you, often when you least expect it. So, what does this new reality entail for us?
This “new normal” merely confirms what I had sensed deep down all along. From the moment I held my firstborn in my arms, I knew he was unique—not just in the typical way all children are different, but in a way that defied the expectations set by parenting manuals. For instance, while other babies napped, mine rarely did. He might grant us brief 15 to 20-minute naps, but that was about it. His lungs were impressive, and he used them frequently, epitomizing the definition of a colicky infant. Even at that young age, my little one was overwhelmed by the world around him.
As time passed, more differences became apparent. Unlike most babies who explored their surroundings by putting objects in their mouths, he would meticulously examine items with his small hands before moving on.
By the time he was nearing two years old, I noticed his exceptional memory. With no guidance from me, he managed to memorize the entire map of the United States using an interactive toy that asked questions about the states. He would press the buttons repetitively until he could answer all the questions accurately. His focus and retention were astonishing.
As he continued to grow, his unique traits became more pronounced—meltdowns, obsessive behaviors, and moments of anger surfaced, all pieces of a larger puzzle that took us several years to assemble. Gradually, however, the pieces started to fit together.
This new reality is ultimately liberating. Our son will finally receive the support he needs to not just survive but truly flourish at school, at home, and in life. He will engage with specialists trained in ASD and anxiety management, learning how to navigate daily social situations and develop coping mechanisms for moments of distress. School will transform into an environment tailored to his individual requirements. A sense of freedom accompanies this diagnosis.
While many things will evolve, some will remain constant. My curious boy will continue to be captivated by dinosaurs, maps, and numbers, even if other children his age favor movies and sports. He will still benefit from encouragement (to be honest, we all appreciate that sometimes) and reassurance that being different is perfectly acceptable. He will receive love, discipline, and nurturing as he grows—albeit with adjustments to better meet his needs. The most significant change we’re embracing is the knowledge we now possess to guide our extraordinary child with ASD.
And you know what? Knowledge truly is power. I’ve always understood this concept, but there’s a significant difference between knowing something intellectually and truly believing it. I once thought that labeling my child with a diagnosis would be detrimental, fearing the stigma that comes with it.
Honestly, it was a selfish fear. I felt like an insecure teenager, worried about how others would perceive my son, who didn’t fit the typical mold. I dreaded the idea of others witnessing his outbursts and meltdowns, particularly during social events like football games, when the scoreboard didn’t favor his team.
I resisted the idea that my child might be different. Different can be daunting, challenging, and, well, different. But what I failed to recognize was that being different can also be extraordinary. Just look at the remarkable contributions of individuals like Albert Einstein, Thomas Jefferson, and Sir Isaac Newton, all of whom were on the autism spectrum.
When you gain access to resources and tools that enhance your understanding of how to support your child, a profound sense of peace washes over you. My child may be different, but that doesn’t preclude him from learning; he simply learns in his own unique way. He may take longer to form meaningful friendships, but that doesn’t mean those connections won’t be significant. And while he will face life’s challenges differently, he will still find ways to cope.
If I could offer one piece of wisdom to other parents navigating the world of raising a child who is a bit “different,” it would be this: don’t fear a diagnosis. Instead, fear the lack of knowledge that could prevent you from helping your child thrive in his unique, extraordinary way. Ultimately, being different isn’t a drawback; it’s just part of a new normal that is, in its own right, “normal.”
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