We’ve all been in that overwhelming scenario: you’re at the grocery store, juggling a sleepy baby in a carrier while a toddler teeters on the brink of a nap-time meltdown. Your older child has been whining incessantly, you’re desperately craving a cup of coffee, and, to top it off, nature is calling.
Suddenly, an older woman in line behind you sighs nostalgically. You catch her eye to ensure she’s not silently judging your toddler’s messy face, and she says, “Oh, I remember those days. They go by so quickly! My children are all grown now. They’re only little for such a brief period. Savor every moment.”
And there it is—the most exasperating phrase a tired parent can hear.
Most days, you feel like you’re merely surviving. Some hours or even moments can be downright dreadful. So how on earth can you be expected to enjoy every single second of this chaotic stage? As a parent whose youngest just turned ten, I can tell you it’s unrealistic—and frankly, not necessary.
But now that I’ve moved past those frantic years, I better grasp what those well-meaning folks are truly trying to convey.
Not every minute with babies and young children is magical—or even remotely enjoyable—but there are genuinely beautiful moments that are worth cherishing. There’s something uniquely significant about those fleeting instances, and it’s crucial to recognize and appreciate them fully. Make a conscious effort to soak them in. Embed them in your memory. Be present during the joyful moments because they are transient.
It’s all too easy to get lost in the monotonous tasks of motherhood. Feeding, tidying up, comforting—repeat ad infinitum. And when your little darlings are having meltdowns or creating chaos, it’s easy to feel less than enthusiastic about parenting. While we all wish for a day filled with sunshine and snuggles, reality often consists of noise, mess, and fatigue, with pockets of joy sprinkled throughout.
Those are the moments you should embrace—not just enjoy but truly savor. Because when your son turns away from your kiss for the first time, or when your daughter takes the wheel of a car, those memories of cuddling with you will be what keeps your heart from shattering.
And yes, you might need a gentle nudge to appreciate those sweet moments when they radiate warmth and laughter. Because when you’re standing in the grocery store, unshowered and on the verge of tears, it’s easy to forget. Although those older parents’ reminders to “savor every moment” might have grated on my nerves, they did resurface during the delightful experiences of my children’s younger days. Because of that nudge, I learned to relish those moments to their fullest.
However, if I see you overwhelmed by little ones, I’ll aim to express it differently. I might say, “I remember those times—they’re challenging yet so rewarding. The days can be long, but the years are incredibly short. Cherish the moments when they’re not screaming or exhausting you. You might not miss everything about this stage, but you’ll surely long for some things—their soft skin, their unreserved love, their delightful giggles. Commit them to your memory. Embrace every moment you can. And remember, even if it feels impossible now, you will find yourself again one day.”
Or perhaps I’ll simply smile and say, “You’re doing great, mama.”
You don’t have to enjoy every moment of motherhood at any stage; no one can do that. But be sure to make the most of the good times when they come. In hindsight, it truly does pass quickly, and you’ll treasure those moments you consciously embraced.
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Summary
The phrase “savor every moment” can be frustrating for parents deep in the chaos of raising young children. While not every moment is enjoyable, there are precious memories to be made. It’s essential to recognize and cherish these fleeting instances amidst the chaos. Embrace the good times, and remember, the years may be short, but the love and memories last forever.