Updated: Jan. 22, 2021
Originally Published: Jan. 28, 2018
As my children transitioned into their teenage years, my partner and I were overtaken by the usual parental anxieties surrounding adolescence. Unlike many parents, who worry about academic pressures, I was more concerned about the reckless decisions that often accompany teenage years. I fully expected to receive a call from the police about my kids being involved in some wild party, complete with underage drinking.
To my surprise, I never received that dreaded call. Aside from a few minor school detentions for uniform violations, my teens turned out to be rather uneventful. While I should be grateful that I’m not dealing with a group of troublemakers, this calmness comes with its own set of concerns. Despite being more responsible, intelligent, and well-behaved than previous generations, today’s teenagers are experiencing heightened levels of loneliness.
What’s Driving This Notable Shift?
What’s driving this notable shift in teenage behavior? The reasons are varied and complex.
It’s evident that contemporary teens are engaging in fewer risky behaviors, such as drinking alcohol and experimenting with drugs. Instead, they are increasingly spending time with family or participating in supervised activities. This shift has led to more family dinners and weekends at home.
This generation, often referred to as “helicoptered” by parents, is generally more compliant and rule-abiding than past cohorts. While eye rolls and typical teenage attitudes remain, you won’t catch them telling their parents to “get lost” while dashing off to buy alcohol with a forged ID—something I did back in the late ’80s.
Communication between parents and teens appears to be significantly improved, as highlighted by a World Health Organization study. In fact, Dutch teens report abstaining from drinking largely due to parental pressure, and they are actually heeding that advice. Instead of working part-time jobs, many are investing their time in academic pursuits, driven by the competitive college application landscape.
The Cost of Compliance
However, one might question if this newfound compliance is entirely positive. These teenagers seem to be maturing at a slower rate, with 17-year-olds exhibiting behaviors akin to those of 12-year-olds. While they maintain strong connections with their parents—often monitored through GPS technology—this constant contact may inhibit their independence and real-world social interactions.
In the ’80s or ’90s, a summer camp experience might have involved minimal contact with parents. Nowadays, teens often reach out several times a day. This trend coincides with increased smartphone ownership and social media use, which researchers link to rising mental health issues among teenagers. The decline in face-to-face interactions restricts opportunities for developing deep emotional bonds, as these connections rely on non-verbal cues as much as verbal communication. Such a deficit likely contributes to growing feelings of loneliness and increased reports of depression among teens.
Is This Trade-Off Acceptable?
Is this trade-off acceptable? Should parents prioritize their children’s avoidance of risky behaviors at the potential cost of their mental well-being? Engaging in some level of risk is often a necessary component of adolescent brain development and social growth. If teenagers miss out on this crucial phase, what implications does that hold for their future as adults?
As a parent of three teenagers, I find myself both anxious and intrigued about the adults they will become. I am keen to see how this new era of “good” behavior influences their maturation process. Only time will reveal the long-term effects of these changes.
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