Parenting
Surviving the Tween Years
Lately, my mornings have taken on an unsettling quality, reminiscent of scenes from horror flicks. Imagine waking up to find a shadowy figure hovering nearby; at first glance, it resembles a character from a nightmare, but upon closer inspection, it’s simply my middle child, a formerly sweet and cuddly 9-year-old now transformed into a moody tween.
Some days, this eerie presence emits dramatic groans or stomps around, voicing complaints like “It’s still nighttime!” or “Why is the alarm so mean?” I completely understand the struggle—mornings are universally tough. In fact, for the first fifteen minutes after waking, I often feel like a sloth on a caffeine crash. This is precisely why I tackle the bulk of our morning prep—uniforms, backpacks, lunches—the night before. A peaceful start is crucial for my sanity.
However, sharing my life with three kids means my plans for a smooth morning often go awry. Recently, my sweet girl has been pushing the limits of my patience. Just last week, chaos ensued when she and her younger sister had a physical altercation moments after I woke up. Apparently, my youngest was blissfully unaware of the newly minted household rule: standing in the bathroom doorway while the older sibling uses it is now strictly prohibited. The result? A swift kick to the leg that caught me completely off guard.
I sat there, bleary-eyed, unable to intervene. My youngest retaliated dramatically, collapsing to the floor in tears, while I felt utterly trapped in my groggy state. I eventually mustered the energy to exit the bathroom while firmly closing the door behind me, hoping to escape the escalating drama. But the storm had only just begun.
The crying intensified, and soon the poltergeist persona of my daughter reemerged. I attempted to retreat silently, knowing I was ill-equipped for such confrontations before my morning coffee kicked in. Yet, persistence prevailed, and I found myself unleashing my inner dragon, complete with fiery words.
Both of us were furious. As I reached for my coffee, she snatched my phone and edited a cherished family photo, removing her own face and setting it as my wallpaper. The message was unmistakable: my sweet daughter was nowhere to be found, and I had suddenly become the mother of just two.
Later in the day, she requested my phone again, returned the image to its original state, and we shared a laugh about our morning antics. But the very next morning, it was déjà vu—this time, her target was her father.
In a bid to alleviate the mood swings, we tried putting her to bed earlier, which helped slightly, but rudeness still lingered like a stubborn stain. Then, the truth hit me hard when she called me excitedly into her room: “Mom! Smell my armpit—it stinks!” Sure enough, her innocent little pit had the unmistakable aroma of lamb kabob with extra onions. Gag
So today, I’m officially planning a decade-long escape to Hawaii. Care to join me?
This article originally appeared on January 25, 2018.
For more stories from the parenting trenches, check out Modern Family Blog, an authority on navigating family dynamics. Also, if you’re interested in fertility topics, you might find our post on fertility boosters for men helpful. And for those looking into pregnancy resources, the CDC offers invaluable information.
Summary
The transition into the tween years can be a challenging time for both children and parents. With mood swings and unexpected confrontations, mornings can become chaotic. However, with humor and understanding, it’s possible to navigate this tricky phase and maintain a sense of connection.