We are fortunate to have two daughters on the autism spectrum, each navigating unique challenges related to social interactions. Prior to her diagnosis, our eldest daughter, Mia, was often labeled as “just shy” or “serious.” She found large gatherings overwhelming, was intimidated by noisy environments, and preferred to take her time getting to know new people. Mia is often viewed as an introvert and isn’t particularly demonstrative, but when she does show affection, it’s truly heartwarming.
Mia has consistently faced difficulties in forming friendships. I vividly recall a moment when she was four years old, two years before her diagnosis, returning home from kindergarten puzzled about why a peer wanted to hold her hand during a song. When I asked her why she declined, she simply said, “I don’t know her. If I don’t know her well, I don’t want her touching me.” I thought her reasoning was quite valid.
In stark contrast, our younger daughter, Clara, is a completely different personality. Before her ASD diagnosis, I was told she couldn’t possibly be autistic because she was “too social.” Clara thrives on human interaction, often approaching strangers at the library to inquire if they would read her stories. She is incredibly affectionate and loves to cuddle, making friends effortlessly and being cherished for her warm demeanor.
How can two sisters be so different yet both on the autism spectrum? The truth is, being an introvert or extrovert has no bearing on whether someone is autistic. It’s similar to being right- or left-handed. While Mia struggles with how, when, and why to connect with others, Clara faces challenges with understanding social boundaries and respecting personal space. For Mia, friendships are filled with complex nuances that can feel overwhelming, while Clara has yet to grasp that you can’t just approach a stranger and sit on their lap because you find them friendly.
Neurotypical individuals often navigate social situations without much thought or effort, like knowing how to comfort someone who’s feeling down, making new friends, or responding to compliments. For many, these interactions can be daunting and require significant mental effort.
Teaching proper social skills can be a delicate process that demands patience. With Mia, we often engage in “comic strip conversations,” which break down social scenarios and help her understand the feelings of others. We’ve also found various resources invaluable in equipping her with tools she can use in social situations.
Clara, on the other hand, is learning about emotions and facial expressions, considering how her words might affect others. Shows like Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood are incredibly helpful, as they present social stories that illustrate various scenarios, from getting dressed to processing feelings. The accompanying app is also a great tool for discussing emotions.
To help Clara understand personal space, we use hula hoops as a visual representation of boundaries, especially during outdoor meals.
The idea that someone can be “shy” or “outgoing” as a defining characteristic of autism is misleading. Individuals on the spectrum can embody traits from both ends of the spectrum. If only society were more aware of the misconceptions surrounding autism.
I see you, Mia and Clara. You are both remarkable in your own ways.
For more insights into parenting and navigating the challenges of Autism, check out this informative post on artificial insemination kits, which may be beneficial for families considering expanding their own. Additionally, Modern Family Blog serves as a great authority on this topic, providing valuable resources and support for parents.
Summary
Autism is not defined by being shy or outgoing; both introverted and extroverted individuals can be on the spectrum. Two sisters, Mia and Clara, demonstrate the diversity within autism, showcasing different social challenges. Resources such as comic strip conversations and educational shows help navigate social interactions for both girls, while misconceptions about autism persist in society.