We were strangers in a public space, and I was simply going about my day when you approached me with the unsolicited advice: “Smile! You’re too beautiful not to be smiling.” I can only assume you believed this was a compliment because you deemed me attractive. Yet, my reaction—a moment of surprise rather than a smile—was likely jarring for you. But here’s the reality: I was just trying to navigate my day.
You know nothing about me. You have no idea that engaging with strangers is something that causes me immense discomfort, triggering underlying anxiety that complicates my life. And honestly, you have no right to demand any insight into my personal struggles because we are not acquainted in any meaningful way. We merely crossed paths in a store.
When women step out into public, it does not give anyone the right to impose their expectations on us. This notion that I should behave in a manner that pleases you is simply unacceptable. You would never approach another man and tell him how to act; instead, you’d respect his autonomy. But, apparently, because you find me attractive, you felt compelled to intervene.
This is not an isolated incident; many women experience similar encounters. The audacity it takes to make such demands is both infuriating and alarmingly familiar.
Here’s a truth you might not grasp: being female often feels like an open invitation for unsolicited interactions. Women face a barrage of unwanted advice, demands on their time, and even harassment—ranging from unwanted attention to aggressive pursuits for personal information. Dismissing a man’s advances can lead to being labeled as a “stuck-up” person simply for asserting one’s boundaries.
Moreover, there’s an inherent danger in these interactions. The man who tells you to smile might just as easily be the same one who poses a threat later on. He could follow you to your car or react violently when rebuffed. Such scenarios are not just hypothetical; they are fears that many women live with daily.
When I venture out, I’m constantly vigilant, assessing my surroundings and the men in them. I find myself wondering if I’ve seen someone too many times or if their interest is crossing a line. This hyper-awareness is a part of the female experience—an instinct born from necessity.
Another crucial point to internalize: my demeanor in public spaces is not for you to command. I am under no obligation to present a smile or any particular expression. Just because we occupy the same space does not grant you the right to dictate my behavior. I could be experiencing a range of personal issues or simply not in the mood to smile. So, please focus on your own business and allow me the same courtesy.
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In summary, the next time you feel compelled to tell a woman to smile, consider the broader implications of your words. Respect her autonomy, and remember that a simple presence in a public space does not come with expectations of behavior.