Recently, I found myself sitting in the car with my three children while my partner, Sarah, ran errands at a local supermarket. As the minutes ticked by, I couldn’t help but grumble inwardly. It feels like I’ve spent a significant portion of my life waiting in that car, with the kids in the backseat voicing their complaints, all while Sarah collected what inevitably turned into a cartful of items. I was beginning to feel like I was confined in a small space with a trio of restless monkeys, their faces smudged with snack remnants.
As I listened to my kids begging to unbuckle, asking about joining Sarah, or requesting everything under the sun, I was reminded of our last shopping trip together. It was chaotic, to say the least. I realized two things: it was overwhelming, and it had happened over a week ago.
This isn’t to say I don’t adore my kids. I truly do. But let’s face it—shopping solo with three children under the age of 11 is a tedious exercise in negotiation, pestering, and meltdowns, all sprinkled with the occasional sticky finger. It’s a scene familiar to many parents; you can’t walk into a grocery store without spotting a parent juggling one child in the cart while trying to wrangle two more who are lagging behind.
The truth is, I often run errands without the kids far more frequently than Sarah does. For her, who balances part-time teaching and full-time parenting, it’s a near-daily reality to have all three kids in tow. In contrast, spending 20 to 30 minutes in the car with them is a much simpler task for me.
By watching the kids while Sarah shops, even for a brief period, I’m giving her a rare chance to shop without distractions. This time allows her to feel more like her pre-parenting self, enabling her to focus on her shopping list and make informed choices rather than hastily tossing items into the cart before a child wanders off to chase a shiny toy.
For dads and primary caregivers alike, it’s essential to recognize the value of this time spent waiting in the car. If you’re in the same situation, consider reversing roles occasionally, allowing your partner to experience a little uninterrupted shopping.
I often wonder how we end up in these situations. Sometimes it’s simply easier to stay home with the kids, but life has a way of steering us into stores unexpectedly. Regardless of the reason, these moments in the car are common, a rite of passage for men throughout shopping history.
So, the next time you find yourself feeling frustrated waiting for your partner to grab a “few things,” remember that your presence is more beneficial than you might think.
As I sat in that parking lot, I reflected on all of this while Sarah returned with not just a few items, but a cart brimming with everything from diapers to snacks. Once we loaded everything up, I noticed a sense of relief wash over her. The kids settled down, and I turned to Sarah and did something I had never done before—I asked if she needed to stop anywhere else. She looked pleasantly surprised and replied, “I could use a few things from Target.”
And off we went.
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In summary, waiting in the car while your partner shops may seem like a hassle, but it can be an invaluable gift to your relationship and your family dynamics.