As a parent, it’s easy to feel pressured about when to give your child a smartphone. My oldest son received his first cell phone at 13 years old, back when flip phones were still functional and Snapchat was just emerging. The motivation behind this decision was simple: I needed to ensure he could contact me during a sudden lightning storm while he was out on the golf course. The flip phone served its purpose efficiently, providing a direct line to his parents without the distractions of modern smartphones.
Fast forward to today, and smartphones have morphed into handheld computers, brimming with apps that can easily consume a child’s attention. The lyrics of a popular song in an Apple commercial highlight this shift: “I think that I’ll keep loving you, way past sixty-five… You are my best friend and we’ve got some stuff to shoot.” This highlights how intertwined our lives have become with our devices.
My second child got his first iPhone at 15, coinciding with him learning to drive. By then, flip phones were practically obsolete. The convenience of having him on my family plan, paired with essential driving safety apps, made the decision a no-brainer. Plus, he started utilizing the phone for homework, using email and cloud storage for school projects. I felt confident in his ability to navigate social media responsibly, believing he wouldn’t fall prey to pitfalls like cyberbullying or sexting.
However, times have changed, and I’ve decided that my youngest son will not be getting a smartphone until he is driving at 16. He just turned 14 and has been pleading for a phone for what feels like an eternity. According to him, he is the only eighth grader without one. I have repeatedly said “no” while allowing him limited access to my phone so I can monitor his activity on social media platforms like Instagram and Twitter. Despite his pleas, I remain firm in my stance.
Even if he feels ready for a smartphone, should kids be glued to their screens at such a young age? I don’t think so, and I’m not alone in this belief. Recently, two investors in Apple expressed their concerns over growing youth smartphone addiction in a letter that called for action. They highlighted the potential dangers of cellphone overuse, urging Apple to create tools that help parents manage their children’s device usage. This growing concern isn’t just limited to investors; pediatricians, teachers, and other adults who engage with children daily are starting to recognize the alarming impact smartphones have on children’s well-being.
As my 14-year-old continues to plead for a phone, I will keep saying “no.” He may resent me for it, but I believe it’s for his benefit. Instead of scrolling through feeds, he’ll engage in age-appropriate activities like playing outside, fishing, or even reading a book (gasp!). It’s time to encourage kids to find happiness within themselves, rather than relying on “likes” or notifications for validation. Remember when kids could actually do that? I do too, and I think it’s time to bring that back.
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