I often hear that I’m an old soul trapped in a 31-year-old’s body. To be honest, this isn’t a new label for me; I’ve been hearing it since I was about 24. What can I say? I prefer the coziness of home, where I’m not at risk of someone stepping on my new shoes, spilling overpriced drinks on me, or encountering guys in button-down shirts who think they’re dressing up while trying to grind on me as I just want to dance. That’s not my idea of fun.
What does sound appealing? Enjoying an early dinner followed by a binge of The Golden Girls. Does that make me seem like an old lady? Absolutely. Am I bothered by being called a 30-something “grandma”? Not in the slightest! I take pride in the fact that my version of a great night involves snuggling in after the early bird special.
If this resonates with you, congratulations—you might just be a 30-something grandma too. Embrace it! We know how to have fun yet still make it home before it’s impossible to grab a cab. If any of these signs apply to you, welcome to the club! We’ve got cozy blankets, fuzzy socks, tea, and your HBO Go credentials coming your way.
1. You’re Home Before 9 PM
While I don’t always get home by 9 PM, I definitely avoid outings that start after that time. Why do we need to go out at 10 PM? Who made that the standard? The sun has already gone to bed, so why should we be out? Nothing worthwhile happens after 10 PM! We’re adults now—not college students.
2. You Craft Wearable Items
If you find joy in knitting beanies or creating embroidered pillows, congratulations—you’re leaning into grandma territory. But hey, I appreciate anyone who can whip up a cozy pair of mittens!
3. You Know the CBS Primetime Schedule
If you not only know when each episode of NCIS airs but also the actors involved, odds are you’re in grandma mode. Those shows are for our parents! If you find Mark Harmon appealing—not the 1980s version but the current one—you might just be a grandma.
4. Your Pajama Collection is Serious
If you’ve got separate “going out” pajamas and comfy ones, you might be embracing your inner grandma. I’ll wear pajama pants around the house, but only in the daytime and only when my neighbors aren’t around.
5. Tea is Your Beverage of Choice
Let’s be real: I love tea. Unless you’re British or an octogenarian, it’s not exactly trendy. But it’s classy and way better than decaf coffee. Bonus points if you have a favorite mug to sip from!
6. Your Furniture is Untouchable
What’s the point of having a couch if no one can sit on it? We grandmas understand the difference between functional furniture and “for show” pieces. Extra points if you call your couch a “davenport.”
7. You Own “Nice” China
If you have dishes that only come out for special occasions, you might be a grandma. Seriously, who hosts dinner parties like that anymore?
8. Your Idea of Fun is Netflix and Chill
If the highlight of your evening is changing into pajamas, making popcorn, and curling up in bed with the remote at 8 PM, you’re fully embracing the grandma life.
If your wild nights involve fuzzy socks and a 9 PM bedtime while watching The Mindy Project, then more power to you! We grandmas may get teased for our old-lady habits, but we’re also the ones who will be there if an emergency arises. We might be asleep, but we’ll be up early, sipping tea and ready for some gossip when you wake up at noon with a hangover.
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In summary, if you relate to any of these signs, don’t shy away from your “grandma” label. It’s all about finding joy in the simple pleasures of life!