Dear Liam,
I want to take a moment to express my heartfelt apologies. I’m sorry for the fears and anxieties I held before you entered my life. I was uncertain and worried, questioning whether I was prepared for this journey. I regret ever doubting my ability to love you as fiercely as I do now. I mourned the idea of the child I thought I would have, but you, my dear, are infinitely more than anything I could have imagined. It wasn’t until I held you in my arms that I realized the depth of my love.
There are times when I find myself feeling frustrated with the slower pace of our journey together. I apologize for trying to rush you. My sweet boy, I cherish every moment, every milestone. I wouldn’t trade a second of you being exactly who you are, at your own pace.
As I sit here reflecting on how quickly time has flown by, I can hardly believe I’m writing this for your third birthday. You’ve grown so much and become so independent. No longer do I carry you everywhere; you’ve outgrown the bottles and meals I used to feed you. It’s bittersweet, as I realize how much I will miss the baby in you, but I also look forward to the young man you are becoming.
You are learning to sign, mastering the use of a straw, and getting the hang of a spoon. You dance to your own rhythm and your laughter fills my heart with joy. You can stack and knock things down with remarkable speed. Words like “bye-bye,” “papa,” “down,” “eat,” and “done” are becoming part of your vocabulary, and sometimes I think I hear you say “mama.” Your hugs and kisses are the best, and I marvel at your growing strength as you learn to run and climb stairs.
In just a few weeks, you’ll start school, marking a significant change in our lives. Time will continue to accelerate, with summers blending into school years, and I’ll find myself missing my baby while falling more in love with the remarkable young man you are destined to be.
I am truly sorry for my earlier reluctance about being a parent to a child with special needs. The truth is, I am incredibly grateful that you chose me as your mom. That extra chromosome you have? It represents a love and joy that fills my world. You are my sanctuary, my heart, and my home. I’ve never experienced laughter, tears of joy, or love as profound as what you have brought into my life.
Your strength, bravery, and determination inspire me daily. Witnessing you overcome challenges that many take for granted, like feeding yourself, walking, and even speaking, has profoundly changed me. I’ve become more humble and compassionate, learning to appreciate life’s simple moments. Thank you, my son, for transforming me into a better person.
So, on your third birthday, I want to apologize for all my past uncertainties and express my gratitude for your unwavering love and the lessons you’ve taught me.
Happy birthday, dear Liam. Your mom loves you endlessly.
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Summary
This heartfelt letter from a mother to her son with Down syndrome reflects on her initial fears and regrets, celebrates the joy he brings into her life, and embraces the lessons learned along the way. She expresses gratitude for their bond, recognizing his strength and determination, as she prepares to witness his growth as he embarks on his educational journey.