Dec. 25, 2023
Yesterday, I attended a mommy-and-me class with my little ones, and in walked an older woman who joined my group of friends, all in our early 30s. As we chatted about our weekend plans, someone mentioned a 30th birthday celebration, prompting her to take a deep breath and chuckle, “You all are so young! I’m practically an old lady now.”
While she was undeniably older than us, her playful remarks made me reflect on the contrast between her experiences and ours. At that moment, it struck me—time truly does fly. Fast forward eight years, and I now find myself on the other side of 40, observing fresh-faced moms pushing strollers and securing car seats. Time has etched its marks on my face, from lines that linger after I smile to the silver strands that grace my hair. I’ve got kids old enough to fend for themselves now, and I occasionally feel new stiffness in my back when I stand up. But let me assure you, don’t feel sorry for me. I’m having a blast, perhaps even more than you are.
Any “wild” or “outlandish” things you might label as a midlife crisis? Just stop right there. It’s not that at all; it’s simply me living my life more fully. Allow me to share a little story.
When I turned 9, my dad, Tom, returned home one day sporting a massive cowboy hat. We lived in a suburban town, and my father, a tough guy from the city, suddenly developed a fascination with country music. His car was filled with Johnny Cash cassettes, and he swapped his usual tracksuits for flamboyant cowboy shirts. The neighborhood even dubbed him “Country Tom,” and we all had a great laugh, thinking it was just a phase.
Now, fast forward to a few years ago when, on the cusp of turning 39, I rediscovered my love for hip-hop and grunge music. I decided to get that tattoo I’d always wanted, and before I knew it, I had several! I embraced the summer heat by wearing shorter shorts and muscle tees to show off my ink. I even leased a convertible (which I now affectionately call “dad’s car”) and blast hip-hop tunes while driving down the highway in my stylish attire. I began distancing myself from people who didn’t bring me joy and made it a point to plan more nights out with friends.
This wasn’t a cry for help; my younger self might have labeled it a midlife crisis, and even my mom checked in to see if I was alright. But it’s simpler than that. I just wanted to do things that made me happy. As you grow older, especially when you reach middle age, clarity often emerges. You feel youthful but realize that life is too short not to pursue what brings you joy. You start to care less about others’ opinions, stop attending events out of obligation, and disengage from toxic relationships. You become aware that while there’s plenty of life ahead, it won’t last forever. Looking back at my father’s choice to don that cowboy hat, I see now that he was simply following his heart, irrespective of age.
When you reach the moment of letting go of others’ expectations and cutting out the negativity in your life, that’s when the real fun begins. So, there’s no need to pity me because I’m just getting started on this journey. And whatever you choose to label my newfound excitement, I truly couldn’t care less!
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Summary:
In this reflection, I share my experiences of embracing life after 40, shedding societal expectations, and pursuing happiness without fear of judgment. I recount the transformative journey of self-discovery and empowerment, emphasizing the importance of letting go of negativity and embracing what truly brings joy.