As a parent to two teenage daughters, I strive to remain attuned to their self-perceptions. My goal as a mother is to instill confidence and self-worth in them, encouraging them to embrace their individuality and express their authentic selves. While there are days when I feel we’re achieving this, I often worry that the societal pressures and stereotypes surrounding girls and women are overshadowing my efforts.
My youngest daughter is on track to graduate from community college with her associate degree by the age of 17. She consistently earns good grades and has made it onto the Dean’s List. By all academic standards, she is undeniably bright. Yet, she still questions her own intellect. During moments of uncertainty, she often asks me if I believe she is smart enough. I find it perplexing—how can a girl excelling in her studies at such a young age doubt her intelligence?
Unfortunately, she is not alone in her struggles. Research surveying nearly 11,000 American girls aged 10 to 18 reveals a troubling trend: many girls lose confidence as they transition into adolescence. Alarmingly, one-third of girls with a perfect 4.0 GPA do not view themselves as smart enough to pursue their dream careers.
What could lead high-achieving students to doubt their own intelligence? Is it possible that girls with stellar grades are setting impossibly high standards for themselves? Or perhaps the prevalence of male dominance in many of these dream careers fosters a sense of inadequacy? I ponder these questions as I think about my daughter’s aspirations in architecture and film music composition—fields where women remain significantly underrepresented. Does the lack of female role models contribute to her self-doubt? Does she feel compelled to be not just smart, but exceptionally so, to succeed in these careers?
This sentiment likely extends beyond my daughter to other young women with similar aspirations in fields like computer programming, engineering, surgery, finance, and politics, where male representation is still dominant. If girls are contemplating careers in these areas, do they believe they must be extraordinary to land their desired jobs? This perception could very well be a factor.
The survey highlights additional issues beyond self-perception. Among girls with the highest GPAs, 62 percent admitted to withholding opinions or disagreements for fear of unpopularity. While many expressed a desire to lead, a significant number avoided leadership roles to evade being labeled as “bossy.” It’s rare to hear a young male express concern about being perceived as too assertive when taking on leadership responsibilities.
As parents, we can play a crucial role in helping our daughters recognize their strength and capabilities. However, we must acknowledge that despite the progress made, significant challenges remain. Some girls will enter fields requiring them to be pioneers, and not every girl is prepared for that pressure. Even if they possess the intelligence and talent, they may struggle to see themselves as competitive in male-dominated industries. Whether it’s due to a lack of female representation in their desired roles, the belief that ambition makes them unlikable, or simply unrealistic expectations, the messages girls receive need to change.
When one-third of straight-A female students doubt their intelligence in relation to their career goals, it signifies a collective challenge we must address—not only for mothers of daughters but for society as a whole.
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In summary, a significant number of high-achieving girls doubt their intelligence and worthiness for pursuing their dream careers. This troubling trend underscores the need for collective action to reshape the narratives surrounding female potential and capability.