In 2012, I invested $1,500 to have my daughter’s biological father legally terminate his parental rights. Yes, I willingly paid that amount for him to be absolved of any child support obligations. And you know what? I have absolutely no regrets about it.
None.
At just 23 years old, I found myself a single mother, cradling my precious baby girl in a room filled with love from friends and family—everyone except her biological father. Some might see that absence as a tragedy, and in a way, it was. But the overwhelming emotion I felt when they placed my daughter in my arms was joy, not sorrow.
From the moment I discovered I was pregnant, I sensed that he wouldn’t be a part of our lives, and I was perfectly okay with that. It may have been unwise to get involved with him in the first place, but once I had his contact information, I knew I was done. There was no inclination to mend our relationship.
He made it clear he didn’t want to be a father. I recognized he would not contribute, and I was not going to force him. Instead, I embraced my life and pregnancy, welcoming my baby into the world with my best friend by my side.
When my daughter was a month old, he reached out, claiming she needed a dad. I went along with his week-long charade of wanting to be involved, but when he questioned what a mere $75 a week was good for, I chose not to engage in an argument. I fully cooperated when he expressed his desire to officially relinquish his rights the following day.
My family had reservations; they were concerned for my daughter’s well-being as a young, single mom. But my instinct told me it was the right choice. The court system agreed with me.
To me, parenting is straightforward: you’re either committed, or you’re out. There’s no room for indecision or half-hearted attempts. You don’t prioritize your own interests over your child’s needs, nor do you equate financial contributions with emotional investment. I told myself that if he could so easily walk away, I would let him.
After he signed the papers, he had 20 days to change his mind. He didn’t.
I took a leap of faith when I also signed those documents. I promised my daughter I would be the parent she deserved—not a pushover, but a strong mother who could fulfill both roles. I held onto the hope that one day, a wonderful man would enter our lives.
Because, honestly, he was not good enough for her.
My daughter deserves a father who wants to be present, who willingly spends on her, and who teaches her the true meaning of love and respect. Because her biological father stepped back, she gained so much more.
She has a father who chose to love her as his own, a man who paid $1,500 to adopt her, ensuring they share the same last name as our other children. He’s a father who plays with her, buys her toys, and invests his time in her life. This summer, he taught her how to ride a bike and a 4-wheeler. Together, they explored our garden every morning, and she beamed with pride each time she showed me their daily harvest.
Her father is a gentle giant, standing at 6’8”, and she loves nothing more than to be lifted high enough to touch the ceiling. It’s not uncommon for me to find her perched atop our kitchen cabinets, “hiding” after he gave her a lift.
I watch them together, and my heart swells with love. She’s inherited some of his quirks, and it fills me with joy because this isn’t a sad tale. It’s a narrative about faith, trust in God, and ultimately finding the right partner.
“Whose girl are you?” he asks.
“Daddy’s!!!” she replies with excitement, and that fills my soul with peace.
For those of you navigating similar situations, consider reading more about the journey of artificial insemination and parenting to stay informed. You can also find excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination at the CDC.
Summary:
In this personal narrative, a woman reflects on the decision to have her daughter’s biological father terminate his parental rights. At a young age, she faced the challenges of single motherhood but ultimately found peace in her choice. Through faith and determination, she not only embraced her role as a mother but also found a loving partner who became a devoted father figure to her daughter. The story emphasizes the importance of commitment in parenting and the joy that comes from making difficult yet necessary decisions.