By: Sarah Thompson
Updated: Jan. 2, 2019
Originally Published: Dec. 18, 2017
Got your attention, right? Clearly, I have some explaining to do. After nearly four years of being divorced, how can one claim they’re still in love with their ex? Simple: I truly am. In fact, I find myself loving him even more now than I did during our marriage! He seems more attractive, kinder, and an absolute joy to be around. So, pick your jaws off the floor and hear me out!
My ex is quite the catch. But let me clarify, this isn’t a strategy to find him a new partner. He has plenty of admirers, trust me. And I certainly don’t need someone else to play the role of “Mom” for our kids—they have me for that! However, perhaps this will provide a glimpse for all you divorcees out there bickering over the trivialities of life, showing what a fulfilling divorce can look like when you prioritize your children and set aside your egos.
I genuinely love my ex-husband. While we might not have been meant for each other in a marriage, we did manage to create two wonderful children together. So when we made the decision to part ways, we also committed to doing it right. Forget the issues and drama; it’s all about the kids. Being happily divorced is just as challenging as being happily married—it requires effort! I unabashedly love my ex, and I’m not embarrassed to admit it.
He understands that a joyful life for him means having a joyful ex-wife!
Our relationship could be the soundtrack of a unique playlist, perhaps even one featuring the tune: “Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems.” Isn’t it always about finances? And I’m not referring to alimony or child support. That’s just part of the deal. Listen closely! Don’t squabble over money or waste it on lawyers. It should all be focused on what’s best for the kids. Initially, I struggled with this, but my ex helped me see it from his perspective. I was scared and overwhelmed. Divorce can be daunting, especially after being married for 12 years. Who can I trust? He kept reminding me, “We need to concentrate on the kids.” And we did. With the help of a mediator, we kept our finances manageable and avoided unnecessary conflict.
We are still a family. Just living in separate homes. We truly co-parent—splitting responsibilities 50/50. He’s now a better father than he was during our marriage. Our boys absolutely adore him because he is fully engaged when they’re with him. We alternate weeks, share holidays, and even find time to have family dinners together. We sit side by side at the boys’ basketball games and even managed to capture family photos at our son’s Bar Mitzvah. The four of us together. Why? Because one day, our child will look back at those pictures and think, “My parents made this divorce easy. Look at my family.”
He still puts up with my quirks. Sure, he could choose to ignore my calls. I’m not his wife anymore, after all. Most men would do just that, saying, “You’re not my concern.” But not my ex. He replies to every message. He still handles my taxes and fixes my leaky faucets. He’s even come over at odd hours to help catch mice. He continues to listen patiently when I’m overwhelmed by the smallest things. I was his “ridiculous wife,” and now I’m just the “ridiculous ex.” Crazy, right?
Now, about dating. I’ve had my fair share of not-so-great partners. They tend to stick around for a month or two, tops. And guess who has to deal with the fallout? My ex. He has taken it upon himself to conduct background checks before I say “yes” to a date. But guess what? I’m finally seeing someone great! The boys even gave him a nickname: “Number 13.” I asked them why he was dubbed that, and my son replied, “Duh, Mom, he’s like, number 13!” (How charming!)
As for me, I’m definitely a factor in my ex’s dating life. I’m just kidding, of course! Who wouldn’t want to be with such a great guy? Just because I’m still in his life doesn’t mean he can’t find happiness elsewhere. It’s a major red flag when I’m dating someone who speaks poorly of their ex. But let’s be real—he stopped responding to my texts while he’s on dates a long time ago!
So, if you were to ask my ex about our relationship, he might say, “Sarah, you were tough to be married to but easy to be divorced from.” Ha! Such wisdom! I love that about him. There’s no one else I’d rather be happily divorced from. And so we live our own version of happily ever after.
Conclusion
In summary, navigating a divorce can be challenging, but it’s possible to maintain a positive relationship with your ex for the sake of your children. Prioritizing their well-being can lead to a rewarding co-parenting dynamic that benefits everyone involved. For more on fertility options and home insemination, check out this post on artificial insemination kits. Additionally, for insights into the IVF process, visit this excellent resource.