It’s clear that no one consulted mothers for this one.
A recent global survey has revealed that women, on average, prefer sexual encounters to last longer than a typical episode of Friends (bless Netflix for cutting out commercials). We’re talking about a whopping 25 minutes and 51 seconds.
But honestly, did anyone think to ask moms? Because the answer is a resounding no. Seriously, what planet are they on?
The survey, conducted by Saucy Dates, claims that women crave extended sessions, but we find it hard to believe that many moms contributed to the findings. Let’s be real here. It’s not that moms don’t desire intimacy or wouldn’t love to enjoy a full 26-minute experience from start to finish; it’s just that time and mental space are luxuries we often don’t have.
Between juggling a never-ending to-do list and trying to quiet the mental chatter, it’s a challenge to fully immerse ourselves. Wouldn’t it be great to let go and enjoy that kind of time without worrying about your child’s impending parent-teacher conference that’s bound to end in tears (yours, not theirs) and maybe even a drink or two afterward? Or to forget about the pile of dirty dishes you left in the sink because you had to dash to the store for essentials? Not to mention the sounds of your toddler stirring in the other room, probably about to request a midnight snack.
Now, we know some moms excel at this. They can set aside their mental clutter and focus on their partner, but for the majority of us, we’d probably be signaling for the “wrap it up” sign around the 11-minute mark—maybe even sooner without a glass of wine involved.
Honestly, we could all use one of those “wrap it up” boxes on our nightstands. Let’s move it along, buddy; I’ve got holiday cards to write and plenty of other thoughts swirling in my mind before I can finally drift off to sleep. Worrying about how my post-baby body looks while lying there for nearly half an hour is not exactly conducive to relaxation.
While the survey suggests women want marathon sessions, we really hope our partners don’t stumble upon this data because, let’s face it, we’ve got laundry to do and Hallmark movies to binge-watch. Did I even remember to brush my teeth?
In all honesty, we need someone to erase this survey from the internet entirely. Will there come a time in our lives when we might want those long, steamy sessions? Absolutely—maybe once our kids are old enough to handle their own messes, or perhaps when we finally hire a housekeeper. Until that day comes, I’m on a mission to develop a prototype for that “wrap it up” box. Contributions to the start-up fund are more than welcome!
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In summary, while surveys might suggest women desire longer sexual experiences, the reality for most moms is quite different due to the chaos of daily life. We love our partners, but sometimes, practicality wins out over fantasy!