Having a mental health condition can be a terrifying and isolating experience, sometimes even lethal. It’s painful for those who endure mental illness and equally heart-wrenching for loved ones who witness their struggles. For individuals grappling with these challenges, a supportive friend can be a beacon of hope—potentially even life-saving.
Drawing from personal experiences on both sides of the friendship spectrum, here’s how you can effectively support someone dealing with mental health issues.
Don’t Take Their Withdrawal Personally
When my high school friend, Emily, started isolating herself, I had no idea she was battling an eating disorder. As her condition deepened, she completely cut off contact for nearly two years. Years later, when I faced my own anxiety disorder, I finally understood her actions.
Mental illness can create feelings of shame and confusion, leading individuals to hide their struggles. If your friend seems to withdraw or conceal their pain, don’t take it to heart. Be patient and recognize that their behavior stems from fear, not from a lack of love for you.
Prioritize Listening Over Questioning
While Emily didn’t share much during her darkest moments, we had poignant conversations when she felt stronger. During these times, I focused on simply listening, which encouraged her to open up more. Similarly, when I was grappling with my own mental health issues, my mother’s willingness to listen without judgment was invaluable.
Many individuals suffering from mental illness feel profoundly misunderstood. Providing a safe space for them to express themselves without interruption is a gift. While your curiosity is natural, it’s crucial to approach with compassion. Instead of prying with invasive questions, ask, “How can I support you?” or “How are you feeling today?”
Offer Unconditional Love
Love has the power to save lives. For those fighting mental illness, a reminder that they are valued and cherished can make a significant difference. During their toughest times, just being there—sending messages, remembering birthdays, or allowing them to vent—can provide solace.
Forgive them wholeheartedly if they lash out—that’s often not who they are, but rather the manifestation of their internal struggles. My mother exemplified this by supporting me during my own challenges, always stating, “I’m here for you” instead of placing blame.
At times when your friend may not be communicating, show your love by caring for their loved ones. For instance, when Emily mentioned her younger sister was having a tough time, I took it upon myself to send her gifts and support on Emily’s behalf.
Avoid Defining Them by Their Illness
No one wants to be labeled solely by their mental health condition. Encourage your friend to engage with life beyond their struggles. Talk about shared interests, hobbies, or lighthearted topics. Remind them that they are more than their diagnosis.
Be Persistent Yet Respectful
In my eagerness to help, I often overstepped boundaries with Emily. My concerns about her health led me to push her too hard, which ultimately pushed her away. When I was later diagnosed, I realized that I too needed space.
Instead, a friend once supported me beautifully by leaving thoughtful gifts at my door without intruding. That balance between persistence and respect is crucial; sometimes, all people need is the knowledge that you care, without pressure.
Step In If Their Life Is at Risk
While it’s essential to respect boundaries, there are times when intervention is necessary. When Emily was at her lowest, a concerned sibling reached out to her parents, leading to much-needed support. If you believe your friend is in danger, don’t hesitate to seek help on their behalf.
Pray for Them
Life can be busy, and it’s easy to lose touch. However, remember that while you may take breaks, your friend is constantly fighting their battles. Praying for them can keep them in your thoughts and provide you with the strength and wisdom to support them.
I prayed for Emily consistently, and over time, I saw her begin to heal, reconnecting with friends and life. Similarly, during my struggles, the prayers of others uplifted me when I felt completely abandoned.
Conclusion
Supporting someone with a mental illness requires effort and compassion, but it is immensely rewarding. Being a loving, patient friend can have a profound impact on their journey. Remember, your kindness could be the lifeline they need. Be the friend you would want during difficult times, and lean on resources like Modern Family Blog for guidance.
In challenging moments, take heart from the knowledge that your support can truly save a life.
Summary
Being a supportive friend to someone struggling with mental illness involves patience, understanding, and unconditional love. It’s crucial to respect their space while also being ready to intervene if their safety is at risk. Listening without judgment, offering consistent support, and praying for their well-being can make a significant difference in their healing journey.