As a product of the ’80s, I have an undeniable affection for everything that embodies what many consider to be the ultimate decade. Back then, my hair was defying gravity, thanks to enough hairspray to fuel a small fire, and I sported a ridiculous number of socks with my classic white sneakers. My trusty jean jacket still holds a special place in my heart, and I couldn’t care less if I break out into a dance to “Hangin’ Tough” by the New Kids on the Block while grocery shopping.
There’s nothing better than snuggling up for a nostalgic movie night filled with ’80s classics that shaped my generation’s childhood. The moment I hear the iconic intro of “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds, I’m transported back to Judd Nelson’s unforgettable performance in The Breakfast Club.
As soon as my kids were old enough, I eagerly anticipated sharing these cinematic gems with them. I wanted them to feel the same exhilaration I did when John Cusack held that boombox aloft, or the delight when Jake Ryan whispered “Yeah, you!” to Samantha in Sixteen Candles. I was especially hopeful they’d share my love for Steel Magnolias.
When the moment finally arrived, my husband and I decided to kick off our ’80s movie marathon with Spaceballs. Our son was obsessed with Star Wars, and we thought Rick Moranis’s cheesy portrayal of Dark Helmet would be a perfect fit. As we cozied up on the couch with blankets and popcorn, we quickly realized we might have made a grave mistake.
OMG, I completely forgot about the swearing and risqué jokes in Spaceballs! By the middle of the film, my husband and I exchanged nervous glances while addressing questions about chastity belts. One of our cherished films had turned into a parenting misstep: our kids couldn’t stop laughing at the frequent use of the word “jerk.” Thanks a lot, Moranis.
We soon discovered that ’80s movies should carry an extra label for parents—a warning that clearly states how much sexual education your kids might receive while watching. It’s essential for parents to be aware of the language and adult themes present in these films before choosing one for family movie night. Luckily, I have a few insights to share:
Doc Hollywood
What’s not to love about a rom-com featuring Michael J. Fox as a plastic surgeon who takes a wrong turn on his way to a job in Los Angeles? However, be prepared for full nudity when the female lead emerges from a lake and takes an eternity to cover up. Trust me, having my child ask why my body didn’t look like hers was a bit much.
National Lampoon’s Vacation
Let’s admit it: we’ve all had those disastrous family road trips since becoming parents. But unless you want your kids to witness Chevy Chase being strip-teased by his wife or see Christie Brinkley swimming sans clothes, it’s best to put this one on the back burner—no matter how hilarious John Candy was as the security guard.
Stand By Me
This coming-of-age classic is heartwarming, and I adore Wil Wheaton. But be warned: the entire plot revolves around four boys searching for a dead body. Seriously, what were our parents thinking when they let us watch this?
Edward Scissorhands
If you want your kids to wake up screaming from nightmares about a goth character with scissors for hands, then this film is for you.
Ghostbusters
How could I forget that Dan Aykroyd gets a lap dance from a ghost? Watching my teenage son chuckle at a Ghostbuster’s antics with a supernatural being was an awkward experience, to say the least.
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
While I appreciate a good prank call to Ed Rooney, it’s disheartening to realize this film glorifies skipping school and lying to parents. Plus, there’s quite a bit of swearing that I didn’t recall.
The Breakfast Club
Hey, Claire, Allison, Andrew, John, and Brian! I think you need to serve a few extra Saturdays in detention for your crude language and sexually charged conversations around my tweens.
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
You would think a movie about a cute alien living in a child’s closet would be harmless. But when Elliott hurls the insult “penis breath” at dinner, you might find yourself gasping in shock.
Our generation produced some of the best—and worst—films of all time, and it’s hard not to want to share that excitement with our kids. Watching them connect with scenes I loved as a child takes me right back to my Esprit jeans and Liz Claiborne purse days. Yet, it’s a challenge to wait until they’re old enough to enjoy these classics without the cringe factor. Remember, there’s a time for everything, and sometimes, you just have to hold off until they are old enough for Sixteen Candles cake.
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In summary, while the ’80s were a magical time for cinema, the films of that era may not be as kid-friendly as we remember. As parents, it’s essential to be aware of the content our children might encounter and prepare ourselves for some unexpected questions along the way.