Dec. 8, 2023
If you were to ask my children what their ideal Christmas morning looks like, they would eagerly respond, “Staying home in our pajamas all day and playing with our new toys.” And honestly, it’s as straightforward as that. For the last few Christmases, we’ve embraced this approach wholeheartedly, and we have no regrets.
This wasn’t always our reality, however. Prior to having children, we cherished our Christmases in Maine with our extended family. It was a beloved tradition that allowed us to escape the hustle and bustle of city life, and we could always count on a picturesque white Christmas in Maine (it basically snows there from October onward). Our relatives were generous hosts, and their festive decorations created a warm and inviting atmosphere.
However, when our first child was born a decade ago, our idyllic holiday trips to Maine quickly turned into a chaotic ordeal. Our newborn was a car screamer, and what used to be a four-hour drive transformed into an exhausting eight-hour journey filled with frequent stops to soothe him.
Upon arrival, despite our family’s kindness, adjusting to a new environment with a baby proved challenging. His sleep was disrupted, and he was constantly reaching for things he shouldn’t touch in their beautifully decorated but un-babyproofed home. I still vividly remember him enjoying a breakfast of pinecones and tinsel that year.
We held onto hope that the following Christmas would be smoother, but after several years of struggling through the same difficulties, we finally realized that traveling with children during the holidays was not the joyful experience we once imagined. I found myself spending more time packing and unpacking than actually enjoying our time with family. Although the car screaming eventually subsided, crankiness persisted, and with the addition of a second child, we found ourselves back at square one.
As our children grew older, they began to express a genuine longing to participate in holiday traditions from the comfort of our own home. It’s understandable—aren’t most kids homebodies at heart? Most simply want to be in a cozy, familiar environment on Christmas morning, surrounded by the toys they’ve been dreaming about for months.
Thus, a few years ago, we made the decision to forgo our Christmas trips to Maine. This choice wasn’t easy; holiday traditions can be deeply entrenched, and there’s often pressure and guilt associated with deviating from what’s expected. Many people might not understand your reasoning, and some may even challenge your decision.
Breaking away from tradition, especially during the holidays, can be tough. However, it’s essential to prioritize what works best for your family. Initially, it was difficult for us, but as we’ve matured, establishing boundaries has become more manageable.
I won’t deny that there’s something truly special about celebrating the holidays with extended family, and I miss it to some degree. I love watching my children build relationships with their aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents, and I want them to cherish those connections.
But there’s an equally enchanting experience in celebrating the holidays in the privacy of our home with our immediate family, and that has become our new norm. Honestly? I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
A “just us” holiday means everyone staying up late, enjoying popcorn, and watching A Charlie Brown Christmas and Miracle on 34th Street until the kids fall asleep in our arms. We then quietly carry them to bed, collapsing beside them until morning. It’s about waking up together on Christmas morning, indulging in leftover cookies for breakfast, and relishing the fact that we have nowhere to be and no expectations to meet.
It’s about baking together in our pajamas without worrying about messing up anyone else’s kitchen. It’s about avoiding the stress of accommodating numerous personalities and their differing preferences regarding holiday traditions. We get to savor our time off work without the hassle of packing or traveling, allowing us to enjoy each lazy moment with our family.
Less stress—that’s what it’s all about. Why should the holidays be anything less? Yes, this sometimes means breaking traditions and potentially disappointing some family members, but it also opens the door to creating new traditions that you and your children will cherish for years to come.
So, if you’re feeling burdened by family obligations during the holiday season and believe that a quieter celebration at home with just your immediate family would be more enjoyable, go for it. Cut the cord. Say goodbye to the old ways. Embrace your own holiday style, and I assure you, it will be just as magical as you’ve envisioned.
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In summary, embracing a “just us” holiday can bring a sense of peace and joy that is often lost in the chaos of family gatherings. By prioritizing your immediate family’s comfort and happiness, you can create lasting memories that will be cherished for a lifetime.