In the discourse surrounding Down syndrome and disabilities, the term “special needs mom” frequently surfaces, particularly during the holiday season or when Individualized Education Plans (IEPs) are on the agenda. It’s a label that seems to be everywhere—listicles, memes, blog posts—you name it. However, I don’t identify with that label.
I am not a “special needs mom.”
People may assume that I fit this description because I am deaf. The conventional thinking around “special needs” suggests that being deaf encompasses a range of “special needs.” But let’s explore what my actual needs are, based on my perspective:
- I require opportunities. I have untapped potential and need avenues to grow and see that potential come to life.
- I need to contribute. Engaging in meaningful work or activities that allow me to make a positive impact is essential for my sense of fulfillment.
- I need joy. Laughter and enjoyment are vital components of my life.
- I need a community. Having friends, acquaintances, and connections who genuinely care about me matters.
- I need love. The ability to give and receive love is fundamental.
- I need sustenance. Basic necessities like food, water, and air are essential, along with financial resources to build a stable future.
These are not “special” needs; they are simply human needs. While I navigate life as a deaf individual with complex PTSD, it doesn’t categorize me as a “special needs mom.”
Wait, you might be saying, “But what about your child?” Yes, my daughter has Down syndrome, which indeed falls under the definition of “special needs” according to some. Let’s look at my daughter’s needs:
- She needs opportunities. Just like any child, she has immense potential that deserves nurturing.
- She needs to contribute. Engaging in activities that provide her with satisfaction and allow her to offer something to the world is crucial.
- She needs fun. Enjoyment and laughter are integral to her happiness.
- She needs community. Friends and people who understand her are vital to her well-being.
- She needs love. The exchange of love is crucial for her emotional health.
- She needs sustenance. Just like anyone else, she requires food, water, and air, along with the financial resources to ensure her future.
Are these needs “special”? No, they are simply human needs. My daughter has Down syndrome, which defines her as a child with a disability, not a person with “special needs.”
Regardless of whether we consider my own disabilities or those of my daughter, I firmly reject the label of “special needs mom.” I identify as a deaf mom, a disabled mom, and yes, I have a daughter with Down syndrome. But there is one label that does not apply to me: “special needs mom.”
For more insights on parenting and creating a supportive environment for children, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. If you want to learn more about the broader implications of parenting children with disabilities, this article might be worth your time.
In summary, I encourage a shift away from labels that imply limitation. Instead, let’s focus on the basic human needs we all share, irrespective of any labels society may impose.