In a world that has become increasingly aware of gender dynamics, I recently faced the uncomfortable realization that I was inadvertently raising my son to embody sexist attitudes. As a mother to a bright, caring 10-year-old named Ethan, I often take pride in our suburban lifestyle, where we participate in typical middle-class family activities like sports, music lessons, and community events. However, recent revelations about prominent figures like Mark Reed, who faced serious allegations of sexual misconduct, jolted me into reflection about my parenting choices.
The stories surrounding Reed were disturbing, evoking feelings of anger and sadness. It led me to ponder how someone who seemed so principled could engage in such degrading behavior towards women. What circumstances could ever justify luring a young female employee into a compromising situation? How could one rationalize sharing inappropriate fantasies with someone in a subordinate role? These troubling questions forced me to confront my own role as a mother.
I began to recognize that I had unintentionally coddled Ethan, allowing his occasional outbursts and dismissive behavior towards his younger sister, Lily, to slide. I was perpetuating the very behaviors I had witnessed growing up—permitting him to think that as a boy, he had certain privileges that excused his actions. This realization hit hard; I understood that such permissiveness could contribute to a culture of sexism, even if it was subtle. Over time, these behaviors could accumulate, leading to significant harm.
Michelle Obama once articulated a poignant truth: “We love our boys, and raise our girls.” This statement resonated with me deeply, as I often find myself hesitant to enforce consequences for Ethan’s actions, worried about being too harsh. I don’t extend the same leniency to Lily, which is unfair. While I make efforts to empower my daughter by discussing feminism and supporting her interests, I need to instill in Ethan a sense of responsibility and awareness regarding his privilege as a white male.
In our predominantly homogeneous community, peer pressure is palpable; it feels like every boy is expected to conform to certain behaviors. “All the other kids do it, why shouldn’t I?” he might think. Yet, bad behavior should not be normalized. Grabbing or belittling someone is not just “boys being boys”—it is a conscious choice to demean another individual.
As Ethan navigates the challenges of preadolescence, I’ve noticed an increase in his emotional outbursts. Instead of addressing these behaviors head-on, I find myself searching for reasons behind his anger. But perhaps it’s time to shift my focus from understanding to accountability. I can’t help but ponder how many adults like Reed and Weinstein displayed similar harmful behaviors in their youth, with people turning a blind eye.
We must teach our children that ignoring inappropriate behavior is not an option. My goal is to engage Ethan in meaningful conversations about sexism and privilege. He will learn that there are consequences for unkind actions and that being a boy does not exempt him from accountability.
I believe initiating these discussions is crucial for fostering empathy and responsibility. To further support this journey, I encourage you to explore additional resources, such as this comprehensive guide on at-home insemination kits and information from Johns Hopkins on fertility and IVF options. By addressing these topics, we can better equip our sons to be respectful and considerate individuals.
In summary, addressing the ingrained attitudes that contribute to sexism starts at home. I am committed to raising a son who understands the importance of equality and respect, ensuring that he is held accountable for his actions moving forward.