As a parent, I’ve witnessed firsthand the challenges that come with potty training. My youngest son, Jake, struggled with it longer than most. He had frequent accidents until he turned 8 and even required pull-ups at night until he was 10. Despite my efforts to limit his liquid intake before bed or waking him up to use the restroom, he just couldn’t seem to get the hang of it. Now at 11, he knows when he needs to go, but I’ve had to adapt to the reality that the urge can hit him quite suddenly—something I often have to prepare for during our car rides with emergency soda bottles on hand.
This concern started when he was only 4, especially since his older siblings didn’t face similar issues. My pediatrician reassured me that every child develops at their own pace and that the ability to hold it varies significantly. She cautioned against making it a bigger issue, as shame and punishment could worsen the situation and lower his confidence.
When Jake entered elementary school, I quickly became aware of the limitations placed on students regarding bathroom breaks, and I was not pleased. How could this policy be fair to children like Jake, whose bodies don’t function the same way as their peers? Scheduled bathroom breaks and limited passes are unfortunately standard in many schools across the country.
For instance, Jake is allowed only three bathroom passes a month or to use the restroom during “transition time,” which can change daily. If he doesn’t use his passes, he earns a reward—lunch with a teacher and a cookie. Seriously? Rewarding him for not going to the bathroom is utterly ridiculous.
It seems there’s a pervasive worry that students might ‘abuse’ their bathroom privileges. However, I believe this concern is overblown. If a child misuses the privilege, they should be addressed individually rather than imposing strict rules on all students, which only complicates a natural bodily function.
Moreover, offering a reward for ignoring the need to relieve oneself sends a harmful message to our children. For kids who have struggled with potty training, recognizing the urge to go can take longer, and sometimes they might not feel it until it’s almost too late. Creating an environment where a child risks having an accident at school because they’ve run out of passes or want a cookie is simply unacceptable.
Dr. Mike Thompson, a pediatric urologist, emphasized in a recent article that children should be allowed to use the restroom as soon as they feel the urge—not 10, 20, or even 60 minutes later. This is a matter of health, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. He pointed out that holding urine can cause lasting damage to young bladders, increasing the risk of accidents, bedwetting, and urinary tract infections. The consequences of holding in a bowel movement can be even worse. Jake often comes home saying he had to go but held it in all day just to avoid missing out on a special lunch or a cookie.
As an adult, I can’t imagine managing my day with scheduled bathroom breaks, and I have a fully developed bladder. It’s an unreasonable expectation to place on our children.
We can certainly allow our kids to use the restroom when necessary while still holding them accountable for any misbehavior, like being disruptive in the hallway. However, limiting bathroom breaks and incentivizing avoidance is not beneficial for our kids or their education. As Dr. Thompson pointed out, “children are harming their internal organs—and their self-esteem. Nothing is more humiliating for a child than having to go to the school nurse with wet pants.”
Using the restroom is a fundamental bodily function that shouldn’t be regulated by someone else’s schedule. Bathroom breaks are essential and should never be treated as a privilege or taken away as punishment. For more insights on parenting and similar issues, check out this valuable resource on home insemination.
Summary:
Limiting children’s bathroom breaks can have harmful consequences, particularly for those who struggle with potty training. It’s essential for schools to recognize that bathroom needs are a natural and necessary part of a child’s day, rather than a luxury. Policies that restrict access can lead to physical and emotional issues, making it vital to allow kids the freedom to respond to their bodily needs without fear of punishment or shame.