I breastfed my son for three and a half years. Yes, you read that correctly, and frankly, I’m not concerned with your opinion on it. I anticipated that weaning would be a challenging process, but what took me by surprise was his continued desire to be physically close to me, particularly wanting to touch my breasts. It’s understandable; he found comfort there for so long, so I can see why he wouldn’t let go so easily. However, this doesn’t make the situation any less frustrating. One of the primary reasons I decided to wean him was due to feeling overwhelmingly “touched out.”
I never envisioned myself nursing a toddler, so I was anxious about the weaning process, considering his strong attachment to breastfeeding. Surprisingly, the transition went quicker than I expected, leading me to realize he might have been more ready than I thought. However, even after we stopped nursing, he clearly wasn’t prepared to sever his bond with my breasts.
While his intentions are innocent, there are times when I simply don’t want him to touch me. This is a common issue among toddlers who have recently weaned. Dr. Emily Parker, a child psychologist, addressed this phenomenon in her advice column, noting, “It’s quite normal for toddlers to seek comfort from their mother’s breasts for up to a year after weaning.” My son often cuddles with my chest first thing in the morning, a ritual that continues even though we don’t nurse anymore. Occasionally, he nestles against me while sleeping (we still co-sleep), but it’s brief. He just needs that reassurance, and my breasts symbolize comfort for him.
Of course, there are moments when I want to set some boundaries. Weaning has allowed me to emphasize the importance of body autonomy. I explain to him, “You know how sometimes you don’t like it when I touch your body? Well, right now, I need you to respect my space.” He understands, even if it causes a little frustration.
Wearing a bra has also proven beneficial. When he can’t see my breasts, he often forgets about them and is less likely to reach out. Dr. Emily makes another insightful point: “We often overlook the fact that weaning can be a traumatic experience for young children.” Understanding this can clarify why a child may cling to any semblance of comfort that nursing provided. Sometimes, my son simply comes over, lays his head on my chest, and says, “I love you, mommy.” It feels like a heartfelt acknowledgment of the comfort he once received.
Now that we’ve weaned, he has become more affectionate, which is a delightful change. Just recently, he hurt his finger and snuggled in my lap to watch a movie until he felt better. In the past, that moment would have likely turned into a nursing session, leaving me feeling overwhelmed and unable to appreciate a simple, quiet moment.
The crucial takeaway here is that this post-weaning attachment doesn’t last forever. Dr. Emily mentions it typically lasts about a year, but every child is different (thankfully). It might feel intense during the first few months, as it has for us, but it may eventually decrease in frequency. Recognizing your child’s needs while establishing boundaries that work for you is essential. This phase of fascination with your breasts will pass, eventually.
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In summary, weaning is a significant transition for both mother and child. While detachment from breastfeeding may happen quickly, the emotional connection remains, leading to a period of “touched out” feelings. Setting boundaries and understanding your child’s needs will help navigate this phase.