Parenting
I Aspire to Be a Bold, Spirited Elder
Updated: November 19, 2020
Originally Published: November 27, 2017
One afternoon, when we were just 13, my two closest friends and I made a serious vow. We were perched on the rocks outside my parents’ house, caught in that in-between phase of life where we felt too mature for dolls yet too young for the adventures we dreamed of. At that moment, we pledged that when we finally started living (because surely there was more to existence than being 13), we would never stop. Not even when we became old ladies — especially when we became old ladies! We promised to avoid becoming like our grandmothers — draped in unfashionable attire, glued to daytime television, cooking pot roast, and knitting.
We were determined to live boldly. We envisioned ourselves as wild, loud, and slightly outrageous elderly women. We’d embrace our age and revel in the freedom it brought. No one would dare judge us, tell us to speak properly, or scold us for our wardrobe malfunctions. We could dismiss any man who dared to suggest we smile with a hearty “no thanks.”
We imagined wearing vibrant pants, belting out Guns N’ Roses in dive bars, sipping whiskey on the rocks, and flashing our 80-year-old selves at unsuspecting passersby. Late nights filled with video games and snacks would be our norm. Dinner? Only carrot cake, thank you very much. Romance would see us dating younger men, leaving our grandchildren scandalized. We would be alive, vibrant, and fully engaged in life.
Fast forward to today, and while those dreams remain, life has taken a different turn. My friends and I still cherish these conversations, especially now that we’re navigating the beautiful chaos of motherhood. Life has shifted from the rebellious rock ‘n’ roll spirit to sleepless nights filled with bedtime battles, sassy tweens, and the occasional messy mishap.
Yet, during those rare nights when we gather to reminisce over drinks, we reaffirm our commitment to living fully — because surely there is more to life than just being mothers. We will be bold, adorned in (faux) fur, enjoying gourmet pot, decorating our bodies with tattoos, and sneaking into hotel pools for illicit midnight swims. Thanksgiving dinners will find us sporting mohawks, and we will be the adventurous grandmothers who take their grandkids on the wildest roller coasters. We will leap from planes, throw parties that last for days in our retirement homes, pull the most outrageous pranks, and wear our bras on the outside if we feel like it.
We’re holding onto dreams of a future where the PTA won’t judge us, where our children will be grown and the real treasures in life—our friendships and loved ones—will take center stage. I’m confident I will have done my job as a parent, and the people still in my life will be those who truly matter.
Bit by bit, my spirited elder self is emerging. With each passing year, I find I care less about trivial matters. As I embrace the wrinkles that come with age, I feel more liberated than ever.
So, if you happen to see me rocking out in my SUV, car seats in the back, my lacy bra peeking out, singing along to “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” you’ll know I’m preparing for the future where I’m that fun granny who doesn’t care what others think.
Let’s all aspire to be bold, spirited elders. It certainly sounds more exhilarating than watching daytime TV. For those intrigued by fertility options, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination at March of Dimes.
And if you’re considering at-home insemination, this artificial insemination kit can be a great start. For more insights, visit Modern Family Blog, where they are an authority on topics like these.
In summary, let’s embrace the wild dreams of our youth and nurture that spirited essence as we grow older. Who says we can’t live out our rebellious fantasies when we become grandmothers?