Even my partner might be taken aback by this title. He’s likely thinking, “Really? Maya puts her husband first?” But, dear partner, I genuinely strive to prioritize you—even if you haven’t noticed it yet.
It’s impossible to quantify my love for the important people in my life or to rank them. My parents hold a special place in my heart for all they’ve done for me. My sister is cherished because I’ve watched her grow and flourish. And then there’s my husband—the one I chose to spend my life with. My children are blessings that I deeply desired and received through fate or divine will. I love them all equally—no more, no less.
However, life requires us to make choices. We can’t have it all or do everything at once. For me, my philosophy is to put my husband above my children.
Anyone who knows me, including my husband, might assume that my love for my kids surpasses my love for him. But that’s not the case; my affection for them is the same, and I am committed to prioritizing my partner over my kids.
To my children, if you read this when you’re older, I hope you understand my perspective. Each of you is invaluable to me, and I want you to know this.
Here are my compelling reasons for choosing to prioritize my husband:
We Made a Choice Together
Out of everyone in my life, I had the privilege of selecting one person to spend my life with. That person is my husband, and he deserves to be my top priority, even after children arrive. It’s crucial for me to cherish him and continuously show him the love he deserves. After all, he was there long before the kids came into the picture.
No One Else Will Prioritize Us
If we don’t prioritize each other within our family, no one else will. We made a vow to stand by one another through thick and thin, ’til death do us part. It’s essential to have our partner’s best interests at heart. My husband is naturally selfless, often putting others before himself, a trait I admire. However, this can be both his strength and his weakness. I aim to ensure that his needs and desires are prioritized too.
We Are the Foundation for Our Kids
My ultimate goal is to build a happy family, one that transcends material wealth and social status. Our family includes my husband, me, and our children. True happiness in our family can only exist if all of us are fulfilled. While my partner loves the kids, if I prioritize them over him, he may feel unappreciated and sidelined, leading to strain in our marriage. When our relationship suffers, so does the family dynamic. By placing each other first, we strengthen our family bond.
I Want to Raise Empathetic Children
We are perhaps the first generation of parents to fully prioritize our children’s needs. With countless parenting books and advice from online communities, we strive for what’s best for our kids. However, it’s easy for children to feel entitled or think their needs always come first. I want them to understand their place in the family and the world. They need to learn that sometimes they may be at the forefront, but at other times, others will take precedence.
Teaching Sons to Respect Their Future Partners
My husband and I are the closest role models for our children. They will learn how a healthy marriage looks by observing our relationship. We want them to grow into adults who understand the importance of prioritizing their spouses as well. That’s how families stay intact and thrive.
Preparing for the Future
When our children eventually grow up and start their own lives, it will just be me and my husband again. If we’ve neglected our relationship during the child-rearing years, it may be difficult to reignite that spark later. Therefore, I am committed to nurturing our love now, so we can enjoy our life together when the kids have left the nest.
Putting my husband first doesn’t mean my children will suffer. If you think I’m misguided in this approach, I understand. You want what’s best for your kids—I do too. However, prioritizing my partner does not mean my kids will be neglected or overshadowed. It simply means that I consider my husband’s feelings when making decisions, just as I do with my kids.
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In summary, prioritizing your partner fosters a stronger family bond and teaches children the importance of mutual respect. It’s a balancing act that ultimately leads to a happier home.