When I was younger, I envisioned what my future home would look like. I pictured a spacious backyard where my kids could play games, a sunlit kitchen with a large, rustic dining table for arts and homework, and a delightful shabby chic aesthetic straight out of a home décor catalog. It seemed enchanting.
Well, I can check off a yard and a kitchen table, but as for that Pottery Barn-style décor? Let’s just say it’s more of a “We Have Kids and Pets, So This Is Why Our Home Is Not Magazine-Worthy” scenario.
Most days, I’m completely fine with this reality. I accept the chipped paint, crayon marks on the walls, scuffed floors, and the collection of baseball cards scattered throughout our home. I embrace this chaos because our house is warm and inviting, and honestly, I have a million other things on my plate beyond worrying about my home’s aesthetic or policing my kids to avoid disturbing my seasonal decorations.
It’s challenging enough reminding them countless times to brush their teeth or put their laundry in the basket that’s literally outside their door. Honestly, I don’t have the energy to fuss over whether the guest bathroom towels stay perfectly white and neatly folded—if we even had a guest bathroom!
Yet, I will admit there are moments when I succumb to envy after scrolling through social media or flipping through catalogs. I start to convince myself that my home is a disaster zone and ponder whether moving or even setting it ablaze would be the solution.
But here’s the truth: social media can be incredibly deceptive. Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest? They can create unrealistic expectations.
Let’s be real: no one’s home looks like the pristine photos you see online, and the majority of those images are staged in some fashion. Sure, there are a few parents with immaculate homes that fit idealized standards, but that’s the exception, not the norm.
As I write this, my “office” is a cluttered kitchen table littered with old art supplies, granola bar wrappers, and a haphazard array of pens. If you peek into my family room, you’d notice crooked family photos and even a cut-out of a Cubs player my son decided to tape over a family portrait. (Yes, you read that right.) And when guests walk in, the first question is often, “Why is there a donkey on your wall?”—because, yes, there is a donkey image taped there.
You know what? I really couldn’t care less.
Well, maybe not completely. I do care a bit, especially when I compare my lived-in home to the pristine, museum-like interiors I see on my Facebook feed. But the reality is, I refuse to spend my entire day cleaning up after my family or shelling out a fortune for décor just to feel “put together.”
Do you really want to spend your days nagging your family about coasters and keeping crayons within the lines? Would you rather invest in fancy furniture that you constantly worry about ruining, or hold onto that comfy couch a little longer, knowing that if your nephew spills juice on it, you can just say, “Oh well” and move on? Do you prefer a home where everyone feels anxious about making a mess, or one where they can be themselves and enjoy each other’s company?
The bottom line? A family lives here, and families are inherently messy.
Of course, everyone has their personal thresholds for what constitutes a “lived-in” space versus a “disaster zone.” For me, clutter can incite feelings of anxiety, so I try to minimize the number of toys and decorations. I frequently declutter. Others might find joy in cleaning or decorating. We each have our own ways of finding joy in our homes.
But if your living space looks like this… or this… or your kids’ rooms are like this… or your closets are stuffed to the brim… take a deep breath. It’s perfectly okay.
Most of us have felt our homes were chaotic at some point—even those who strive for minimalism or are known for their cleanliness. We grumble about crayon marks, chipped paint, and the never-ending battle against string cheese wrappers that somehow evade the trash can.
We often conceal our messes in closets and drawers, attempting to create an illusion of tidiness. Why? Because we are resourceful, creative individuals.
This is life. This is reality. This is normal. This is home. So invite friends over and stop stressing. You’re doing just fine.
For additional insights on family dynamics, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination at the CDC. If you want to delve deeper into topics surrounding fertility, you may find this article on fertility boosters for men particularly informative.
In summary, your home is a reflection of your life, filled with love, laughter, and yes, a bit of mess. Embrace it!