Menu: Parenting
By: Samantha Cooper
Date: November 26, 2023
Image Credit: Thanasis Zovoilis / Getty Images
My 4-year-old son has developed a fascination with television, particularly those bizarre YouTube channels featuring adults with oddly animated hands unboxing and playing with toys. To me, these videos resemble one continuous advertisement for overpriced plastic products.
However, there’s actual research supporting this obsession. Daily, he would plead for me to turn on these shows, along with an endless array of kids’ programming on streaming services. While I didn’t allow him to binge-watch all day long, my screen time limits were somewhat lenient. Admittedly, I often relied on the TV as a digital babysitter to manage chores without my 4-year-old and his 2-year-old sister underfoot.
Then, about a month ago, I made a classic parenting blunder — in a fit of frustration, I issued an extreme and unrealistic punishment: I confiscated the TV for good.
It was early evening, and I was busy preparing dinner. My son was glued to his favorite YouTube channel, entranced by animated characters engaging in various antics. I said, “Five more minutes, and then the TV goes off.” He agreed — until that time was up. When I finally hit the Off button, he erupted in a tantrum. And when my child loses control at dinnertime, it’s likely that I’ll lose mine too.
“That’s it. No more TV. Ever.”
His eyes widened, and he began to cry.
“When can I have it back? Tomorrow?”
“Nope. It’s gone. Forever.”
Oh, great.
To my surprise, I was so convincing in my declaration that he actually believed me. For a few days, he asked timidly about watching something on Netflix, but soon came to terms with my stubbornness — I was resolute that I was going to win this battle.
That was a month ago. For 30 days, my kids have not watched a single kids’ show or YouTube video at home. And I’m genuinely surprised to say that I have no intention of reversing this “forever” anytime soon.
Now, before anyone thinks that going screen-free has magically transformed my household into a serene, idyllic paradise, let me set the record straight. The last four weeks have been long and, quite frankly, exhausting. Some days, I’ve survived the chaos out of sheer determination (and perhaps a glass of wine or two). Unlike the TV, which offers volume control and a pause button, my children do not.
The sibling rivalry has reached an impressive level — if only it weren’t so irritating. Without the TV to occupy their time, they have endless hours to squabble over trivial matters like who gets to shut the front door, who claims the first frozen waffle in the morning, and who gets to play with that long-forgotten toy lurking at the bottom of the toy box. The hair-pulling, shoving, screaming, and crying is on the verge of driving me to my wit’s end. Surviving the constant skirmishes between a 2- and 4-year-old should probably be classified as some form of psychological torture.
And the mess. Everyone knows that kids’ toys breed overnight, but without the distraction of screens, the clutter has spiraled out of control. My home is now littered with half-finished craft projects, costumes, and cardboard boxes that were once castles but have now become mere obstacles in the living room. Without my digital babysitter, I also find myself required to be “on” for much longer each day. It’s utterly draining.
So why haven’t I caved in, even as stricter screen-time limits loom? Why does “forever” mean at least a few more weeks or months without television in our lives? Because, despite the noise, the bickering, and the mess, I’m witnessing the positive effects of a screen-free lifestyle for my children, and I’m embracing them.
First, we’ve significantly increased our reading time. We’ve transitioned from reading a couple of books at bedtime to enjoying stories throughout the day. My 2-year-old, who previously showed little interest in literature, now constantly requests that we read to him. We’ve incorporated library visits into our weekly routine, and we’re easily plowing through 20 books a week, often revisiting many of them multiple times.
Moreover, the imaginative play in our household has flourished. Yes, it’s loud. Yes, it’s messy. But it’s also incredibly heartwarming to see their creativity in action. The kids are heading outside, constructing pirate ships and princess castles on the swing set, and returning home dirty and exhilarated. Extended bubble baths have become the norm, and they’re falling asleep more easily and sleeping longer at night.
Selfishly, even though I’m exhausted by day’s end, I also feel liberated from the mom guilt that accompanied those days when I allowed them to binge-watch TV. I recognize that there’s nothing inherently wrong with screen time, and I shouldn’t feel guilty about it, yet I often do. Completely eliminating a source of my guilt, no matter how temporary, has been liberating.
“Forever” may not truly mean forever, and I understand that kids’ programming will eventually return to our lives. But for now, the screen-free existence is working for all of us. And perhaps, just maybe, my son will completely forget about those strange YouTube toy videos. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.
For more insights on parenting and child development, check out this informative piece on home insemination options at Make A Mom. Additionally, if you’re interested in understanding more about the journey to parenthood, this resource on in vitro fertilization is excellent and can provide valuable information.
In summary, while my decision to eliminate TV from my children’s lives may have stemmed from a moment of frustration, the outcome has been surprisingly beneficial. Increased reading, imaginative play, and a newfound sense of freedom from guilt have made this experience worthwhile.