Bah humbug, right? If you’ve thought it, you’re not alone. This is our fourth holiday season with kids, and while we’ve taken them to visit Santa every other year, this year is different.
Remember when the #MeToo movement swept through social media? I can’t think of a single woman who hasn’t faced some form of sexual harassment or assault in her life. Seeing those stories flood my news feed was heartbreaking, especially considering my two young daughters, who are just three and two years old.
In their innocent little lives, they remain unaware of the harsh realities out there. A fellow parenting blogger wrote a thoughtful piece on teaching consent to young children, and it struck a chord with me as the festive season approached. I felt a wave of shame when I recalled past years when I would place my daughter on Santa’s lap, chuckling as she squirmed to escape. I thought it was amusing—after all, I was right there to ensure her safety. But what I thought didn’t matter; her feelings did.
I was essentially telling my child that she had to stay on a strange man’s lap, even when she was clearly uncomfortable, just so he could deliver her presents. Let that sink in. That’s not a message I want to send. I want my daughters to understand that their bodies belong to them and that they have the right to say no if someone makes them uncomfortable. They should never feel that they have to endure something unpleasant for the sake of receiving a gift.
You might think I’m being overly cautious, but I don’t believe I am. The responsibility lies with me for placing my children in these situations without considering their feelings. I should have asked them if they wanted to sit beside Santa, stand next to him, or skip it entirely. They deserve to be heard, and their discomfort should signal that something isn’t right.
So, we won’t be participating in this Christmas tradition this year. While we might go for a photo op or a brief chat with Santa, there’s also a chance we’ll skip it entirely to avoid those voices—be it photographers, bystanders, or even Santa himself—encouraging my daughters to ignore their discomfort for the sake of being a “good girl” and getting gifts.
Instead, I think we’ll write a letter.
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In summary, this holiday season, I’m choosing to prioritize my children’s comfort and understanding over tradition. The lessons we teach them about consent and body autonomy are far more important than any festive photo op.