Every one of us holds a special photograph of our mother close to our hearts. You know that one image you revisit time and again, the one that brings forth a wave of warmth? It’s that quintessential picture of your mom that perfectly encapsulates her essence. It might be a bit worn, perhaps tinged with a faded hue, and the corners may be curling from countless views. Yet, it represents the woman who is your mom, and it holds a cherished place in your memories.
As for my favorite photo of my mom? It features her lounging effortlessly in a vibrant red swimsuit on a sun-drenched summer day back in 1985. She radiates confidence and beauty, with absolutely no sign of a child or toy in sight.
Do You Have a Photograph of Just You?
Now let me pose a question: Do you have a similar photograph of yourself? Not the one taken moments after giving birth, grinning while cradling a newborn. Not the image of you in your wedding gown or at your baby shower. And certainly not that silly selfie from last weekend, indulging in ice cream with your kids.
I’m referring to a stunning photograph of just you. Simply YOU. Not as a wife, a mother, or a friend—just YOU.
Recently, I set out to find that kind of photo of myself. Surely, I have one tucked away, right? I sifted through a mountain of scrapbooks stacked on my living room shelf, filled to the brim with memories and milestones. First steps, birthday celebrations, school graduations, and family vacations. Each page showcased my children’s adventures—moments of joy, laughter, and even the occasional mishap. But as I flipped through, one thing became glaringly obvious: I wasn’t in any of them.
I realized I would have to go through at least five albums before I stumbled upon a picture of me. And what was that photo? It was of me in a hospital bed, cradling a newborn.
The Evolution of a Mother
What happened to the years that followed that moment? While my child flourished, where was the evolution of the woman behind the lens? Motherhood took over, and suddenly, I found myself always behind the camera, capturing my family’s life instead of living my own. As the designated family photographer, I busily documented our experiences without ever thinking to capture my own.
Sure, I’ve snapped my fair share of selfies—mostly with the kids when they’re in the mood. But still, when flipping through albums or browsing through photo collections, the woman who is also the mom is nowhere to be found.
The last time I can recall lying in the sun, carefree and unbothered, was on my honeymoon at a serene beach. There were no kids nearby, no sandcastles being built—just the woman who existed before motherhood came along. That was two decades ago, and it speaks volumes about the time I’ve spent hidden behind the scenes.
I’ve dedicated these years to my children—cooking, planning, organizing, and shaping their childhood experiences. Yet, in all of that, I’ve neglected to document my journey as well. The mother in yoga pants and ponytails has become the unsung hero, but where are the images of her?
Creating a Legacy
When my sons grow up and seek a photo of their mother—the woman who was their mom—what will they find? Likely nothing.
That’s why, before another day slips away, I’m making it a priority to ask someone to take a portrait of just me. I’ll pose without the chaos of everyday life looming around. It will be a moment of calm, where I can smile and show my children that the woman who existed before being a mom is still very much here. The picture will reflect me, in whatever form I take, without the burden of self-doubt about age or appearance.
To my kids, I am not defined by those insecurities. I am the woman they will search for in their memories. In fact, I aspire to be the woman in their favorite picture of their mom. But for that to happen, I need to step into the frame.
Moms, let’s not delay any longer—ask your kids to take that beautiful photograph of you today. So years from now, when someone asks for a picture of their mother, they won’t encounter any obstacles in finding one.
Further Reading
For more insights on family journeys, check out this article on couples’ fertility journeys. If you’re also interested in understanding pregnancy better, here’s a fantastic resource on pregnancy. To delve deeper into this topic, you can visit this resource.
In summary, it’s essential to capture moments of ourselves as mothers, not just the fleeting snapshots of our children. By doing so, we create a legacy that our kids will cherish, ensuring they remember the woman who shaped their lives.