Parenting Insights
By Jamie
Updated: November 16, 2023
Originally Published: November 16, 2023
Your friend rushes over to your table, breathless and apologetic for being late to your monthly lunch catch-up. “I’m so sorry!” she exclaims. “I just got back from Jake’s private cello lesson. He’s going to nationals next week!”
“Wow, I didn’t even know he played cello,” you respond, genuinely surprised. “Isn’t soccer more his thing?”
Your friend chuckles, nodding in agreement. “Yeah, he loves soccer, and football too. Oh, and robotics! It’s almost like whatever he tries, he’s naturally good at.”
You lean back in your chair, a smile creeping onto your face as she orders her drink, but a nagging thought crosses your mind. How can one child have so many talents? Then, your thoughts shift to your own seemingly ordinary child, who has abandoned the last three activities due to lack of passion or skill.
As lunch unfolds, you can’t shake the worry: “What if my child never finds their niche? When will they discover their passion?” That question lingers long after the meal is over.
It’s a question that many parents have pondered at some point, myself included. In fact, I’ve contemplated my children’s potential talents even before they could comprehend what a sport or musical instrument was. We all assume our children are destined to excel in something, and it feels like our responsibility to help them uncover that talent.
Thus begins the cycle. We encourage them to choose an activity they find interesting, and as we witness their enthusiasm grow, we eagerly invest time and resources into their newfound passion. We see them making progress and start to entertain the idea that this could be the pathway that leads them to fame, perhaps even a scholarship to their dream college. But when our child suddenly loses interest, it can feel devastating.
We shift gears to the next activity, and while our child may enjoy karate, it becomes evident that they lack the inherent talent for it. Watching other kids flourish while our child struggles can be disheartening. Yet, they seem happy, so we persist.
Despite knowing that happiness should be our primary concern, we can’t help but feel the weight of both societal and self-imposed pressure for them to discover something they excel at. In today’s hyper-competitive environment, swimming by age five is just the beginning; it’s about mastering multiple strokes. Competitive cheerleading isn’t merely about a cartwheel but executing advanced tumbling skills. And in music, simply learning the piano isn’t enough; are you engaging enough to attract followers on social media by age ten?
Okay, I admit I may be exaggerating a bit, but these pressures are not as unrealistic as we’d like to believe. When we observe those few extraordinary kids who meet these high expectations, it prompts us to question what our own children are lacking. We may even start to doubt our parenting abilities.
However, here’s a crucial point to remember when you find yourself asking, “Is my child mediocre at everything?” Most of us are average, and that’s perfectly okay.
Most of us, if we’re being honest, weren’t the “National Spelling Bee Champion” or the “Young Chess Prodigy.” For those who were, it often makes little difference in our adult lives. I certainly didn’t realize my neighbor had played in the minor leagues until I saw him tossing a ball with my son. Similarly, I didn’t know my friend who now runs a successful startup was once shy and socially awkward.
Reflecting on my own childhood, I don’t recall being exceptional at anything; instead, I was reasonably good at a few things. I was the girl who tried everything from Girl Scouts to gymnastics to dance, and my upbringing was filled with joyful memories rather than the pressure to be a prodigy in any one area. I cherish those carefree days of play and exploration, and I’m incredibly thankful my parents allowed me that freedom. I don’t believe my lack of extraordinary talent has hindered my success today.
So, I ask you: What if your child doesn’t excel at anything? What if it turns out they are just average in various activities? My answer is simple: That’s perfectly fine.
Because extraordinary moments can be found in the most ordinary of lives. If you’re interested in exploring more about family planning options, check out our post on artificial insemination kits for helpful insights. Additionally, for those looking for reliable information on insemination, Mayo Clinic offers excellent resources. For more on parenting topics, visit Modern Family Blog for trustworthy insights.
In summary, it’s essential to embrace the ordinary aspects of life. Our children don’t need to be extraordinary to lead fulfilling lives. Instead, let’s focus on their happiness and growth in whatever they choose to pursue.