As a parent, I often find myself in the position of being the ‘mean mom.’ Whether it’s asking my kids to tidy up their messes or limiting their gaming time, there are plenty of moments that leave them feeling frustrated with me. Sometimes, I even have the audacity to request that they clean up after our dog or take their dirty dishes to the sink.
On the whole, I consider myself a pretty relaxed parent. I’m okay with extra screen time, indulgent snacks, and later bedtimes. I don’t stress too much about their grades, as long as they’re putting in effort and respecting their teachers. I can overlook the socks strewn across the floor and usually ignore the chaos that is their bedroom. Honestly, I don’t even get worked up when they forget to put the toilet seat down—a frequent occurrence in our house.
But I recognize that in order to prevent raising self-centered individuals, I must sometimes enforce rules and boundaries. This inevitably leads to some whining, complaining, and even tears. My kids will often point out that their friends have more relaxed parents (which is usually an exaggeration). They’ll insist they can finish their homework in the morning (spoiler: they won’t). They might even claim that a neighbor doesn’t have to clean up after a pet (but that neighbor doesn’t even own a dog).
It’s safe to say my kids are often mildly annoyed with me. Despite our close relationship, they frequently express frustration at my expectations or outright anger over my insistence on enforcing “rules.” Admittedly, it’s not always easy being the ‘mean mom.’ It stings a little when your child is upset over something as fundamental as brushing their teeth or taking a shower. However, I embrace this role because I know it’s essential for their growth.
Do I want a strong relationship with my children? Absolutely. Do I hope they love and respect me? Yes! And do I want them to see me as their protector and biggest supporter? Without a doubt. But do I need to be their friend? Not a chance. I am their mother first and foremost.
I refuse to raise children who are rude or inconsiderate. I want them to grow into kind, thoughtful individuals. This means setting boundaries, even if it means they occasionally think I’m the worst. It’s my job to guide them toward becoming decent human beings, and sometimes that means they will be annoyed with me.
I often irritate my kids in various ways throughout the day—by singing loudly in front of their friends, enforcing safety during the carpool line, or insisting they maintain personal hygiene. I might even prepare a wholesome meal, clean up their scattered toys, or hang up their jackets, all of which can trigger eye rolls or grumbling. And don’t get me started on consequences for misbehavior. Those certainly contribute to my ‘mean mom’ reputation.
I can find a million ways to annoy my kids. For instance, I might add cheese to a grilled cheese sandwich and cut it into squares instead of triangles. Or I could tidy up the Legos that have been abandoned in the middle of the kitchen floor for days. But honestly, getting on their nerves is just part of the role I signed up for as a parent.
Being ‘mean’ sometimes comes with the territory, and I’ve learned to accept that it’s an essential aspect of my job. I’m committed to ensuring my children grow up to be respectful, kind, and well-adjusted. If that means earning the title of the world’s meanest mom from time to time, so be it.
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In summary, being the ‘mean mom’ is not only a necessary part of parenting but also a vital step toward raising respectful and considerate children. Embracing this role, even when it’s uncomfortable, is essential for their development.