The first time I hosted a Friendsgiving, I was a freshly married 20-year-old with limited cooking skills that mainly revolved around instant noodles. Living three states away from my family in a tiny apartment near the military base where my husband was stationed, I quickly learned that holidays could be pretty lonely for a military family. Many of our friends and neighbors were in the same boat, far from their families during Thanksgiving. So instead of wallowing in homesickness, we decided to create our own gathering, inviting everyone who might also be feeling isolated.
Looking back, I can only imagine the culinary catastrophe that was our first feast. I remember pulling something long and awkward from the turkey I had thawed and promptly panicking, convinced I had found the turkey’s reproductive organ. My mom had a good laugh at my expense before clarifying that it was just the neck. Despite my inexperience, no one seemed to mind the less-than-perfect meal; friends showed up with frozen pies, bakery rolls, and bottles of affordable wine, and we spent the evening enjoying each other’s company.
Being alone during the holidays can be particularly tough. Unlike Halloween or St. Patrick’s Day, which are more about social gatherings, Thanksgiving is deeply rooted in family traditions. When you can’t partake in those cherished moments—whether due to distance or personal choice—the feeling of missing out can be overwhelming.
This is where Friendsgiving comes into play. It allows those who may not be with family to celebrate with friends, creating a joyful experience for everyone involved. The great thing about a Friendsgiving is that, because you’re with friends, you can be assured of a good time. There’s no worrying about Uncle Bob’s drunken antics or Cousin Lisa’s political debates that could ruin the mood.
What’s even better is that friends often bring their own unique traditions to the table. At my gatherings, you might find an unexpected dish like sushi nestled between the classic stuffing and sweet potato casserole. Plus, when everyone contributes to a potluck-style meal, it lightens the load for the host—and allows more time for enjoyment.
As a parent now, I cherish the important lesson Friendsgiving imparts to my children: the value of community. It teaches them to care for others, share, and include everyone, ensuring that nobody feels isolated.
I’ve come a long way since that first Friendsgiving nearly two decades ago. Nowadays, I can cook a turkey without batting an eye at its anatomy. The one constant, however, is the diversity that fills our Thanksgiving table. Our home is always open to anyone, regardless of their background or reason for being away from their family. I hope my kids carry on this tradition of inclusivity when they grow old enough to host their own gatherings—even if the food is a little rough in the beginning.
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Summary:
Friendsgiving offers a warm alternative to traditional Thanksgiving celebrations, especially for those who may be away from family. It fosters connection, diversity, and community, allowing friends to come together and create new traditions.