When I was in kindergarten, our teacher organized an awards ceremony to celebrate our year’s achievements. We gathered in a circle, and she presented us with “medals”—simple construction paper apples strung on yarn. Initially, the atmosphere was filled with excitement as we clapped for each other, eagerly awaiting our turns to receive our awards in photos with the teacher. But soon, the mood shifted.
It all started with one boy who was devastated for not winning the “Best Coloring” award. “But I always color inside the lines!” he cried. Then a girl expressed her discontent because her friend received the “Good Citizen” award, despite her belief that she deserved it for holding the classroom door open daily.
When my name was called for the “Biggest Heart” award, I felt a rush of joy. My award was unique—shaped like a heart instead of an apple. However, my excitement was quickly overshadowed by a boy’s loud claim: “She cut in line yesterday!” While he was correct, my 5-year-old self struggled to reconcile that with my victory.
Now that I’m a parent, I often reflect on that awards ceremony, especially during the lengthy award presentations at my children’s schools. With over 800 students in our middle school, these year-end ceremonies can stretch on for three hours. I can’t help but question whether this elaborate display is truly necessary.
I asked my son how he felt about his recent awards ceremony and whether he altered his behavior to earn an award. He simply rolled his eyes and replied, “Nope. I don’t care if they give me a piece of paper that says I did a good job.” While he appreciates individual praise from teachers, he finds sitting through a long ceremony for a piece of paper unnecessary.
His words made me ponder: What if we eliminated awards ceremonies altogether? Before you jump in with the argument that children need motivation, let’s consider this: Research indicates that awards can actually hinder kids’ desire to excel. Alfie Kohn, author of Punished by Rewards, emphasizes that “awards aren’t detrimental just because the losers feel disappointed; ultimately, everyone loses when education is reduced to a competition against peers.”
Instead of spotlighting the same 10 or 12 students year after year—who often dominate the stage with their trophies—why not create events that celebrate each child’s unique talents? Schools could host “All-Star Evenings,” allowing every student to showcase their skills in art, music, technology, or academics. This way, no child feels the sting of not being called during an assembly, and every student can demonstrate their worth beyond test scores and grades.
Such events would not only empower every child to shine in their own right, but parents would also be spared the discomfort of sitting in a crowded auditorium, anxiously waiting for their child’s name to be called. I’m sure parents of kids whose last names fall in the latter half of the alphabet would agree.
Children should be inspired to excel based on intrinsic motivators—mastery, autonomy, and purpose—rather than the pursuit of accolades. By signaling that awards are the ultimate goal, we inadvertently suggest that the recognition holds more value than acquiring actual skills or knowledge. For many children, achievements are measured in small milestones rather than high scores on tests.
I’m not advocating for the complete removal of systems that assess our children’s academic progress. Objective measures like report cards, tests, and other assessments are essential for tracking development and determining classroom placements. However, the awards ceremonies based on these test outcomes? Not really necessary. Our kids are more than just letter grades, test scores, or trophies.
In summary, it may be time to reconsider the efficacy of school awards programs. Instead of fostering competition, let’s celebrate the diverse talents of every student and create an environment where all children feel valued for who they are. For further insights on this topic, check out Modern Family Blog, and for resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Mayo Clinic. If you’re interested in exploring home insemination kits, you can find more information here.