Today, I found myself in a familiar conversation with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. We keep in touch mostly through social media, exchanging the customary “We really need to catch up soon. It’s been ages!” Yet, despite our good intentions, we’ve been saying this for six months and I doubt we’ll manage to meet any time soon. It’s not that I don’t cherish her friendship—I do—but my disorganized life makes planning a challenge, and my to-do lists often gather dust.
She’s genuinely concerned about my single status, which I appreciate. During our chat, she voiced her worries, saying, “You’re doing fine now, but don’t you think you’ll eventually want to find someone and settle down?” The truth, dear reader, is that I don’t.
To provide some context, I’m a proud mother to a 3-year-old daughter. I was in a fulfilling relationship with her father for six years, and when I decided to move on, it wasn’t in search of another partner; it was about rediscovering myself. My daughter and I enjoy our own adventures, and I maintain a strong friendship with her father. We even recently vacationed together as a family, which was a delightful experience—complete with a few amusing hiccups that made for great memories.
Given that backdrop, my friend’s inquiry struck a nerve. I used to believe that stating my intention to remain single for at least a decade would quell the inquiries about my relationship status. Instead, it seemed to open Pandora’s box of assumptions. Apparently, declaring a long-term commitment to singledom was seen as absurd. The underlying belief seems to be that love could magically appear at any moment, whether through a serendipitous encounter or a Hollywood star knocking on my door.
I am genuinely happy for the couples I know who are thriving in their relationships, but as time passes, I realize their path isn’t one I wish to follow. Reflecting on my past relationships, even the best ones were often more taxing and emotionally draining than being alone. I understand that love requires effort, yet I question whether that effort is worth the potential stress.
These thoughts rarely cross my mind until a well-meaning friend reminds me of my status with their concerned looks and probing questions. I have no desire for more children; bringing my healthy 9-pound, 3-ounce baby into the world was plenty. My life is filled with a wonderful group of friends, and I never find myself lonely. If I choose to date, I can do so without the complications of sharing my home or dealing with someone else’s emotional baggage.
I fully comprehend the advantages of being in a committed relationship for those who have found their soulmate, but at this moment, it’s not for me. Statistically, the likelihood of meeting someone with whom I’d want to share my life is slim, especially considering my own quirks and complexities. What if I introduced someone into my daughter’s life only to find that we grew apart? Even if I craved a relationship, the odds of it lasting are minimal.
I appreciate the routine and tranquility of our home—at least when my 3-year-old isn’t blasting the latest pop hits. The fact that it’s just the two of us means our happiness and stability aren’t influenced by anyone else’s moods or actions. Many express fear of growing old alone, and perhaps that anxiety will hit me one day. However, I refuse to disrupt the balance of my life out of fear of the future. After all, we only have today.
Currently, I have a few bets with friends regarding my commitment to avoiding relationships for a decade. Frankly, I think I’ll easily win those bets and may never enter another serious relationship again—unless, of course, Jon Hamm shows up at my door, in which case I might reconsider my stance.
Until then, I’ll proudly remain a commitment-phobe and enjoy the friendly wagers with my pals. For those considering alternative family-building options, you can explore resources like this cryobaby at-home insemination kit or check out this excellent resource on infertility for valuable information. For more insights on modern parenting, visit Modern Family Blog.
Summary
In a world that often pressures individuals to find relationships, one woman boldly embraces her decision to remain single for at least the next ten years. Amidst well-meaning concerns from friends, she reflects on her fulfilling life as a single mother, the joys of independence, and the peace of mind that comes from avoiding the emotional complexities of a romantic partnership.