From the get-go, my friends warned me about the onslaught of unsolicited questions and comments I’d face during my pregnancy. I brushed it off, thinking surely it couldn’t be that bad. After all, people are generally kind to expectant mothers, right? My initial reaction was positive when a stranger first acknowledged my pregnancy. It felt like a wonderful milestone, and I thought my friends were just being overly dramatic.
However, as my pregnancy progressed, the reality hit me hard. The constant barrage of inquiries and comments from strangers, coworkers, and even acquaintances became overwhelming. As a waitress, I often had to smile and nod through these intrusive remarks instead of expressing my true feelings. Anyone who has worked in customer service while pregnant understands the frustration; it feels like your personal space and dignity are being invaded.
Here’s a glimpse into the frustrating world of pregnancy-related comments. Are you guilty of any of these?
“Are you having twins?”
First off, any comment suggesting a woman is too large is simply unacceptable. It’s never appropriate to comment on someone’s body, especially during pregnancy. Women already have enough on their plates regarding weight gain and body image without unsolicited remarks from strangers. So please, keep your thoughts about her size to yourself.
“You’re going to quit your job, right?”
Unless my baby comes with a trust fund, there’s no way I’m leaving my job. It’s absurd to assume a woman should abandon her career just because she’s having a baby. Living expenses increase with a child, not decrease! This question carries a lot of baggage, implying that a mother isn’t good enough if she can’t stay home with her child full-time.
“Who’s going to take care of the baby?”
This question often follows the previous one and is equally intrusive. Trust me, a pregnant woman has thought long and hard about childcare solutions. It’s a stressful consideration, and she certainly doesn’t need anyone else adding to her worries.
“What does your husband do for a living?”
This question usually pops up when people discover I’m a waitress. There’s an underlying assumption that I must be struggling financially and need a man to rescue me. It’s rude and assumes that my worth is tied to my partner’s income. Let’s be honest, I make a decent living, often in less time than those stuck behind a desk.
“Were you happy when you found out the gender?”
What kind of question is this? It’s just awkward and unnecessary. Parents face enough pressure without having to justify their feelings about their baby’s gender to strangers.
“Are you going to keep your baby’s name a secret?”
Yes, I probably will. Many parents choose to keep name choices private due to the fear of negative reactions. If a parent wants to share, they will do so on their terms.
“Was it an ‘oops’ or planned?”
This question is downright invasive. It’s nobody’s business whether the pregnancy was planned or not. It can be hurtful for those who didn’t plan their pregnancies and have enough to deal with already.
While it might seem that I’m overly sensitive, pregnancy hormones do play a role in how I react. But that doesn’t excuse the lack of manners from others. So what can you say to a pregnant woman instead? Simply treating her as a normal person can go a long way. Discuss something other than pregnancy for a change; she would probably appreciate a break from baby talk.
If you feel compelled to comment on her pregnancy, stick to these three phrases:
- “You look beautiful.”
- “Would you like to sit down?”
- “Where are you registered?”
For further insights on pregnancy and family planning, check out this helpful resource, or explore this informative article on home insemination. For a more comprehensive look at navigating pregnancy, visit Modern Family Blog.
In summary, it’s essential to approach pregnant women with respect and sensitivity, steering clear of intrusive questions and comments. Treat them like the individuals they are, and you’ll find that the conversation flows much more smoothly.