I have a little-known truth that I rarely share with my fellow moms. Over the years, I’ve often dodged discussions that touch on this topic, opting instead to smile and nod. This truth makes me feel somewhat isolated and can unintentionally lead to feelings of judgment among other mothers.
However, the moment you step into my home, my truth becomes evident.
My house is not cluttered. In fact, it’s so well-organized that even the most meticulous homemaker would nod in approval. There are no stacks of paperwork cluttering my countertops, and my laundry room floor is visible. My closets aren’t brimming with toys and linens, and my sink is generally clear, save for a few bowls or cups when life gets hectic.
I am a mom who maintains a consistently organized home, and my penchant for decluttering has long been a source of light-hearted teasing from my best friend. She often jokes about my close relationship with the employees at the local thrift store and my inability to leave our luggage unpacked after returning from trips.
Being organized is simply part of who I am, and when I embraced motherhood, that structure became my lifeline.
When my daughter was born, I was unprepared for the whirlwind that a newborn brings. Sure, I was aware that babies come with an array of gear, and our living room resembled a baby boutique during those initial months. I knew an infant would disrupt our previously peaceful, child-free life. And I was fully aware that babies are messy, demanding, and largely uninterested in neatly organized toys.
What I didn’t foresee was how lost I would feel in the transition to motherhood. After grappling with postpartum depression following a particularly challenging bout with mastitis, those early days were some of the darkest of my life. I now realize I was also facing undiagnosed anxiety, but at the time, I found myself crying endlessly, overwhelmed by the realization that motherhood didn’t come easily to me.
Everywhere I turned, my life felt foreign.
My anxiousness compounded my struggles as a new mom. My daughter was often fussy, and I recognized the need for a solution that would help both of us find calm amidst the chaos. Our days lacked structure, and although I was fortunate to stay home with her full-time, the hours felt interminable when it was just the two of us, and she constantly wanted to nurse.
So, I turned to what had always provided me comfort: organization and routine.
The idea of chaos and “going with the flow” had never suited me, and I ultimately realized that if I wanted to thrive in early motherhood, I needed to infuse our days with structure. I began by creating a daily schedule and diligently adhered to it. I took control of my home in the only way I knew how: I cleaned and organized. I devised a system that worked for our young family, and slowly, clarity returned.
I granted myself permission to embrace my need for order.
I accepted that I am not a mother who thrives amidst clutter or chaos, nor do I judge those whose kitchens resemble a post-party disaster. In fact, I often find myself envying moms who manage without the same level of structure I require to navigate parenting. I would love to be the mom who laughs about the disarray in her bathroom, but that version of me would be overwhelmed, which isn’t fair to my family.
I know there are other mothers who, like me, manage the pressures of motherhood by restoring order to their homes at the end of the day. Many find solace in cleaning or feel a sense of accomplishment from simple tasks like making the beds in the morning.
Having a tidy home doesn’t indicate that we are “hands-off” moms. So, to those who think our children are neglected because our counters are crumb-free, it’s time to rethink that assumption.
My organized space doesn’t imply that I’m neglecting my kids or that I’m a poor mom because I can’t laugh about my towering laundry pile. In fact, I usually wait until my daughter is asleep before pouring myself a glass of wine, putting on some music, and restoring order to my kitchen. For me, structure brings comfort, and if you’re a mother who thrives in a clean environment, then embrace it—no judgment here.
Yes, my home is tidy, and yes, my bathrooms are generally spotless. I make no apologies for doing what was necessary to maintain my sanity during those early chaotic days of motherhood. I also won’t apologize for sticking with what continues to work for my family.
So please don’t unfriend me because my floors shine. Everyone could use a friend willing to lend a hand when their basement requires a thorough cleaning. For more insights on family dynamics and parenting, check out this engaging article on Modern Family Blog.
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In summary, maintaining an organized home is a personal choice that doesn’t reflect one’s parenting capabilities. It’s about finding what works best for you and your family.