When a high school friend recently shared a note on my Facebook page regarding her child’s “behavior” warning, I was taken aback. Is this really happening? Did someone actually write this about a kindergartner? My initial shock quickly turned to anger.
This note was sent home with my friend’s 5-year-old daughter, Lily, after she was marked for “misbehavior” in kindergarten for innocently playing with her shoelaces during circle time and exhibiting other typical kindergarten behaviors like tapping her feet. Lily received what many refer to as a “naughty note” from her teacher, making her feel humiliated in front of her peers for simply acting her age. (Lily is a pseudonym; her mother wishes to maintain her privacy.)
As a parent, the thought of my children experiencing this type of shaming in their classroom—a place meant for safety and security—infuriates me. As a former educator and education researcher, I am appalled that practices like these continue to persist in schools today, despite overwhelming evidence of their ineffectiveness and potential harm.
Behavioral notes, color-coded cards, sticker charts, and public behavior monitors need to be eliminated from classrooms. Here’s why:
- They Inflict Shame
Behavior charts are public reminders of disobedience. Over time, children may internalize these messages and begin to perceive themselves as “bad” kids. For instance, if Lily continues to receive these notes, she might start to view herself not as a typical child who occasionally fidgets but as a “bad” child who is disliked by her teacher. - They Fail to Address Root Causes
Often, children might not even comprehend the specific reasons behind their discipline, other than being labeled as “bad.” These systems neglect to teach children the underlying reasons for appropriate behavior or how to express themselves more effectively in developmentally suitable manners. - They Damage Teacher-Student Relationships
Instead of fostering a trusting and empathetic learning environment, these charts position teachers as figures of punishment, instilling fear in their students rather than encouraging collaboration. - They Promote Extrinsic Motivation Over Intrinsic
Such systems teach children to prioritize external validation over their personal aspirations. As writer and former educator Sarah Thompson put it, “These methods don’t cultivate a genuine desire to be hardworking, helpful, or exceed expectations simply for the sake of being a good person. Without that intrinsic motivation, the impact is fleeting at best.” - They Can Cause Anxiety and Depression
Many children develop worries—both in and out of school—about these charts. They may start feeling inadequate and incapable. Parenting expert and author Mia Johnson echoed this sentiment, stating, “Behavior charts can humiliate children, inducing unnecessary anxiety and fear. Some kids become obsessed with avoiding disgrace, while others may begin to identify with the ‘bad kid’ label due to feelings of defeat.” - They Disrupt Learning
Teachers are forced to divert precious instructional time to manage these charts instead of focusing on teaching.
Lastly, as author and educator Heather Reynolds notes, this approach is hypocritical. Imagine if adults were subjected to a behavior chart throughout their day. How would we fare? We all have off days—yelling at the kids in the morning could lead to a color change, while forgetting a task could push us further down the scale. By mid-morning, we could find ourselves feeling utterly hopeless.
What can concerned parents do? Start by engaging with the teacher to understand their rationale for using such methods. If you notice that a disciplinary system is not conducive to your child’s well-being, share your observations and suggest alternatives. Additionally, reassure your child at home that these behavior charts do not define their worth as a person or a student and encourage them to downplay its significance.
Teaching is undeniably challenging, and I recognize that firsthand from my decade of experience. However, the pressures faced by kindergartners and primary school students today are immense. We should be fostering environments that help children learn, thrive, and succeed, not adding unnecessary burdens to their educational journey.
For further insights on how to support children’s well-being and development, you might find Modern Family Blog helpful. And for parents interested in fertility and family planning, consider checking out Make a Mom for information on supplements that can assist in boosting fertility. Additionally, March of Dimes provides excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, the practice of using classroom behavior charts is detrimental to children’s emotional and psychological well-being, and it is crucial for parents and educators to seek more constructive and supportive approaches that promote a positive learning environment.