Every Wednesday, my son’s preschool hosts a Show-and-Tell session where they focus on the “letter of the week.” For instance, last week was dedicated to the letter “H.” My little guy, Max, brought a headlamp to share.
“This is my HEADlamp. Huh-huh-headlamp!”
You can imagine how that went.
Now, I’ll admit, I’m not the most organized parent out there. So when I woke up this morning, I thought, “OH NO, it’s Wednesday?! What’s the letter for this week?” frantically searches through papers “Max, hurry! Find something that starts with the letter D. Like duh-duh-DEE. Go!”
He returned quickly with his favorite Spider-Man umbrella.
“How about dis umbrella?”
Uh, not quite, buddy.
“Umbrella starts with a U. Uh-uh-umbrella.”
He shook his head stubbornly.
“No, mommy—DIS umbrella.”
I tried not to laugh and embarrass him while simultaneously packing his lunch. “That’s close, sweetie! But ‘this’ starts with T-H. TH-TH-THIS.”
Looking a bit disappointed, Max set the umbrella down.
“Try again, hon. The letter D. Like Duh duh DINOSAUR.”
His eyes lit up. “OOOOOH! Let me outside, Mommy! I know JUST THE THING!”
Now, pause for a moment. I should mention that for the past three days, I’ve been complaining about a terrible smell coming from our porch. My husband just nods, as if to say, “Right, you’re smelling things again, honey.”
We step outside, and Max zooms to his special chair where he keeps his “collection” of rocks, bugs, and other treasures—typical kid stuff.
He points excitedly and exclaims, “How bout MY DEAD BIRD! DUH DUH DEAD BIRD!”
My heart drops as I scream, “OH MY GOSH, SON, don’t touch it! HAVE YOU TOUCHED IT? HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD THIS?”
I’m ready to disinfect everything, including my son and that bloated dead bird. We’re now late for preschool and still have nothing for Show-and-Tell.
“Go get your stuffed animal. Duh duh DOGGY. Hurry!”
He dashed inside, looking a bit hurt because I’m the meanest mom for not letting him bring a bird corpse to preschool. As I’m tossing the dead bird over our fence, I can’t help but wonder what else lurks in his collection.
Max returned with something fluffy in his arms.
“Mommy, how about Dis animal?”
I take a deep breath. It’s either a dog or a cat—who cares? It’s not rotting flesh, so I approve. Off to preschool we go, twenty minutes late.
The letter D, folks. DUH-DUH-DEE. As in, today, Mommy is DEAD.
If you’re interested in more parenting stories, check out this post about home insemination, or visit Modern Family Blog for expert insights on family life. For further information on pregnancy, visit the World Health Organization’s page, which is an excellent resource.
Summary
In this humorous tale, a mother recounts the chaos of preparing her son for Show-and-Tell, only to discover that he wants to bring a dead bird. The story highlights the unpredictability of parenting and the hilarious moments that come with it.