During my elementary school years, I was plagued by an irrational fear of pregnancy, all stemming from a misunderstanding about how babies are conceived. A fleeting glance at my underpants by a boy, coupled with a friend’s misguided explanation, left me anxious for an entire year. This overly dramatic episode has since shaped my approach to educating my own children about sex. From an early age, my kids learned that boys have penises and girls have vaginas—not “wee-wees” or “front-butts.” They understand that babies are conceived when penises enter vaginas, not through accidental underwear sightings.
I felt accomplished in raising informed children, believing I was equipping them with crucial knowledge before their peers could misinform them. That was until our visit to NEMO.
No, not the animated movie—I’m referring to the NEMO Science Museum in Amsterdam. This summer, I took my kids for a much-needed, kid-friendly diversion from our regular itinerary filled with museums and cathedrals. We happily spent hours engaging with interactive science exhibits and trying to create the biggest bubble imaginable.
As a fitting end to our adventure, we explored the “Humania” level on the fourth floor. What greeted us was surprising, even for a progressive mom like me. To my left was a massive illuminated sign, primarily in Dutch, but I could easily discern “Teen Facts” and “Let’s Talk About Sex.” To my right, another sign proclaimed “Let’s Talk About Sex,” accompanied by a provocative black-and-white image of a couple who were clearly doing much more than merely discussing the topic.
As I turned around, I found my 8-year-old son enthusiastically attempting to navigate a giant tongue in the “French Kiss” exhibit. However, he soon lost interest, declaring that “kissing is gross.”
The exhibits, while a bit shocking, were no more scandalous than what one might encounter on a magazine cover at the grocery store. But then I spotted something that compelled me to share my thoughts on social media.
In the exhibit’s corner, illuminated on three shelves of a striking red display cabinet, were numerous wooden figures—essentially faceless, hairless models reminiscent of IKEA dolls—posed in various sexual positions I had never even known existed.
Had we accidentally wandered into Amsterdam’s Red Light District? Should we have been carded upon entering the fourth floor? Did IKEA launch a collection of sex dolls? I was uncertain if my son was meant to be in this section, so we didn’t venture closer to the display showcasing these wooden figures engaged in Kama Sutra-like poses. I couldn’t help but wonder what the nearby peep show had to offer.
Until I can revisit NEMO to find out, I’ll have to rely on the museum’s website, which describes the peep show as a place where one can explore various aspects of sex and sexuality in a discreet setting.
With such open discussions about sex readily available to children in a science museum, some Americans might assume that Dutch youth are at greater risk for unwanted pregnancies and abortions. The reality, however, is quite the opposite.
As highlighted in Peggy Orenstein’s article in the LA Times, “Worried About Your Teenage Daughter? Move to the Netherlands,” the U.S. has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the industrialized world, while the Netherlands boasts one of the lowest. Our teen birth rate is eight times higher, and our abortion rate is 1.7 times higher than theirs.
Orenstein points out that not too long ago, the Netherlands’ approach to sex education mirrored that of the U.S. However, they’ve made significant changes over the past two decades. By the 1990s, when the U.S. was investing heavily in ineffective abstinence-only education, Dutch educators and parents began discussing the positive aspects of sex, anatomy, reproduction, contraception, and more. They approached subjects like oral sex, masturbation, and respect in intimate encounters with openness and understanding.
In contrast, sex education remains a taboo subject in many U.S. schools, with some parents believing that providing information leads to promiscuity, despite evidence showing that education fosters safety. For parents who, like me, advocate for a more progressive approach to sex education, it can be challenging to understand what is being taught and how to promote comprehensive programs in our local schools.
For those interested in exploring this topic further, I discovered a helpful resource that details sex education laws by state and offers insights into school district policies. They even provide a toolkit to help parents stay organized and navigate discussions with their children. You can find more on this topic here and explore additional resources for pregnancy and home insemination here.
As for me, I firmly believe in the importance of sex education. My own experience has taught me that knowledge can empower children to make safe and informed choices. Take it from someone who once thought she could become pregnant from a boy merely seeing her underwear: a little information goes a long way, and just like the right supplements can boost fertility, so too can the right knowledge empower our kids for a healthier future.
Summary
A visit to the NEMO Science Museum in Amsterdam highlighted the stark contrast between Dutch and American approaches to sex education. While the Netherlands embraces open discussions about sex and relationships, the U.S. often clings to outdated and ineffective methods. As parents, it’s vital to equip our children with accurate information to ensure their safety and well-being.