When my young son expressed the notion that “boys don’t cry” a few years back, it hit me hard. I thought, “We live in an open-minded community, we discuss emotions frequently at home, and I work as a therapist — how did this happen?” This led me to a pivotal realization: If children learn through play, where were the toys designed to help boys express their feelings? The answer was clear; they were largely missing, sending the message to many boys that such forms of play were not for them.
Fast forward to today: I developed Kindred Crew, a line of dolls crafted specifically for boys, aiming to broaden the definition of masculinity. My goal was to convey a new narrative to boys, one that embraces kindness, nurturing, emotionality, adventure, creativity, and strength — moving beyond outdated gender stereotypes and encouraging the full spectrum of their identities.
Here are six lessons I learned about boys, dolls, and nurturing:
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It’s All in the Words.
Language holds immense power. While some families have always embraced the idea of boys playing with dolls, for many, the term “doll” carries negative connotations. In my graduate studies, I learned that changing the language can reshape thoughts. What if we labeled dolls as “friends” or “buddies”? This simple shift could remove the stigma because friendship is a universal experience. -
Boys Can Be Nurturers.
Children of all ages, including boys, have a fundamental need for connection, and this isn’t limited by gender. It has been heartwarming to observe the tenderness boys display during playtime. We’ve witnessed adorable rituals, such as boys pretending to be “dads” or “big brothers,” providing comfort to their dolls — or buddies — during storms, and creating homemade slings to carry them. -
The Importance of Male Friendships.
We often joke about male bonds, particularly the deeper ones, while society encourages girls to form loving, open friendships. Boys often receive the opposite message, feeling pressured to be tough and self-sufficient. Research indicates that strong friendships and emotional connections are essential for happiness and success. Imagine if every child learned early that vulnerability can lead to emotional resilience. -
Representation Matters.
Children are acutely aware of their surroundings. When they see themselves represented, they feel valued; when they don’t, the opposite occurs. I created Kindred Crew with boys in mind, as this demographic was significantly underrepresented in nurturing toys. However, promoting inclusivity goes beyond this — many avenues exist to make a difference. -
Gender Equality Involves All Genders.
At my first toy industry event, many people were enthusiastic about my booth, but one individual questioned, “Boy empowerment? Isn’t the focus on girls?” Our culture often assumes boys are fine, but they, too, require empowerment for various reasons. To foster gender equality, we must raise children with a balanced perspective. -
Embrace Complexity.
Many of us struggle with black-and-white thinking, especially in parenting. After nearly 15 years of working with clients of all ages, I’ve learned that embracing our multifaceted nature can lead to growth. One of the unexpected benefits of Kindred Crew has been seeing children explore the diverse aspects of their identities. They can embody superheroes and nurturers simultaneously; one trait doesn’t negate the other.
In conclusion, by allowing boys to play freely and engaging them with nurturing toys, we can foster a generation that values emotional expression and inclusivity. For those interested in further exploring these themes, check out this insightful resource on in vitro fertilisation and consider the benefits of home insemination options, like this at-home insemination kit.