No, I’m not upset, annoyed, or hormonal. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with me. Yet, time and again, friends, family, and even strangers feel compelled to inquire if I’m alright.
You see, I have what’s popularly known as Resting Bitch Face (RBF). This condition causes my face to appear critical, unfriendly, or devoid of emotion when it’s simply my natural expression.
Wondering if you might also be afflicted with RBF? Here are some signs to look out for:
- You’ve been told to smile more often or that you look more attractive when you do.
- Your partner constantly worries that they’ve upset you.
- Some individuals have remarked that you bear a resemblance to Kristen Stewart.
- People noticeably steer clear of you, assuming you’re in a bad mood.
The last point is actually my favorite benefit of having RBF: it often keeps strangers at bay. This serves as my initial defense against awkward small talk and unnecessary interactions.
It’s almost amusing to see the immediate reactions of others when they encounter my resting face. They look at me, smile, notice my lack of a smile, and promptly change direction to avoid engaging with me. It’s clear that I don’t exude warmth or friendliness when my expression suggests, “I’m currently plotting a heist.” But my RBF is a blessing, as it has spared me from countless uncomfortable situations and conversations I’d rather avoid.
For instance, during a recent PTA meeting, when Sarah asked for volunteers and baked goods, she quickly realized not to approach me. Although she doesn’t know me well, I can tell she senses my disinterest, likely because I’m standing in the corner with a blank stare, reminiscent of a character from a dark comedy. Similarly, when I finally show up at the bake sale with store-bought treats, she doesn’t give me any grief.
Other parents at the park don’t engage with me. Strangers don’t attempt small talk when I’m out and about. And thankfully, no one bothers me on public transport; my face seems to communicate, “I might seem like a regular person, but there’s a chance I’m a mysterious figure with pepper spray.” People often choose caution over risk, and I appreciate that.
My RBF has also proven useful while waiting in line at the grocery store. It seems that I’m one of the fortunate few who doesn’t give off that “please chat with me” vibe while stuck in a queue. There’s something about my permanent scowl that signals to others that I’m indifferent to the sale on apples.
Another advantage of RBF is that it sets low expectations, so when people do get to know me, they are often pleasantly surprised by my friendly nature. Surprise! I’m actually quite approachable.
However, I won’t pretend that the underlying assumption doesn’t irk me. Why should my lack of a smile equate to being unfriendly? Who decided that women must constantly radiate cheerfulness? That’s downright ridiculous.
This expectation doesn’t seem to apply to men—unless Resting Dick Face is a thing. (On second thought, maybe that name isn’t the best choice.) The bottom line is, I don’t owe anyone a smile if I’m not feeling it. Period. I refuse to wear a phony grin just to make a stranger feel more at ease.
If anything, I’ve learned to embrace the situation and appreciate that some see me as unapproachable. They say it takes more muscles to smile than to frown, but I bet it takes none when you simply don’t care.
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In summary, while my Resting B*tch Face may deter unwanted interactions, it also allows me to maintain my space and avoid awkward encounters. I’ll continue to embrace my expression, unbothered by societal expectations.