Parenting
By Jenna M. Collins
Updated: Oct. 21, 2019
Originally Published: Oct. 7, 2017
She appeared utterly exhausted. Bone-weary. Overwhelmed, frazzled, but above all, tired.
Naturally, she was. With four kids all under the age of ten, including a wailing newborn in her arms, her trip to the grocery store was a monumental feat. As I watched her bounce the newborn down the frozen food aisle, I could see the fatigue etched on her face—she hadn’t slept properly in years. I felt fortunate to be shopping alone, as my children were older, and I was finally enjoying the rewards of my own parenting journey.
Approaching this weary mother, I remarked, “You have a lovely family! It’s impressive that you’re managing all of them, especially with a newborn.”
She paused, her eyes misting over as she diverted her gaze to the frozen waffle selection, clearly holding back tears. In that moment, I sensed she was wrestling with a myriad of emotions, yet what came out was the one phrase that every mother seems to rely on: “I’m tired.”
I instantly understood what she meant. It wasn’t just about a lack of sleep from the previous night; it was an all-encompassing exhaustion that penetrated every facet of her life. I knew the weight of her words more than she could imagine.
What “I’m Tired” Really Means
When mothers say “I’m tired” to spouses, friends, strangers, or even their own mothers, it conveys an array of sentiments beyond mere fatigue.
- “I’m tired” signifies that the constant responsibility of caring for small children can feel utterly overwhelming.
- “I’m tired” reveals that there are moments when I wonder if I can handle just one more minute.
- “I’m tired” expresses the realization that this journey is far more challenging than I ever anticipated.
- “I’m tired” reflects the uncertainty of ever getting a full night’s sleep again.
- “I’m tired” implies that even the simplest tasks, like cutting the crust off a PB&J, can feel daunting.
- “I’m tired” means intimacy is off the table—not due to a lack of love, but because my exhausted mind struggles to engage.
- “I’m tired” indicates that I lack the mental energy to engage in small talk, whether at the grocery store, playground, or during PTA meetings.
- “I’m tired” suggests that I don’t want to hear clichés about how I’ll miss these moments someday. Right now, that sentiment offers no comfort.
- “I’m tired” signifies a longing for the parts of myself that have faded—my pre-motherhood body, my personality, my free time, my solitude—all of which are now unfamiliar in this new reality.
- “I’m tired” leaves me questioning if I will ever regain my sense of self, or if this state of exhaustion is my new normal.
- “I’m tired” simply means I am beyond fatigued. I struggle to manage ordinary adult responsibilities because I am now the adult—the mother, the one who sacrifices, yet feels like I can’t hold it all together.
I gently patted her on the shoulder, offering a silent support. I didn’t tell her it would get better or that she should feel grateful. Instead, I locked eyes with her, smiled softly, and said, “I understand.”
Her smile in return was a moment of unspoken connection.
Sometimes, all we tired moms need is to recognize that we are not alone in our exhaustion. The knowledge that there exists a sisterhood of mothers who share this physical, emotional, and mental fatigue can be both comforting and uplifting. We understand the true meaning behind the phrase “I’m tired,” and together, we hope it won’t define us forever.
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In summary, when a mother says “I’m tired,” it encompasses a multitude of feelings and experiences that extend far beyond simple fatigue. It’s a collective cry for understanding and solidarity among mothers navigating the challenging yet rewarding journey of parenthood.