By: Jamie Collins
Date: October 6, 2023
Jamie Collins from Maryland asks: What strategies can I use to handle a picky eater? Should I let them survive on their preferred foods, or should I insist they eat what’s served and face the inevitable mealtime battles?
Oh, Jamie… It feels like you eavesdropped on my recent conversation with my mother, who scolded me for telling my 5-year-old that I wouldn’t prepare an alternative meal. My mom expressed concern that I could be making something else for my child, but I countered, “Mom, we just have different parenting styles. I sleep like a log, and all my kids are healthy, so…”
Understanding Picky Eating
We’ve all encountered the reasons why our kids shy away from certain foods:
- “I can tell I won’t like that.”
- “It looks gross.”
- “It smells funny.”
- “It’s too chunky/smooth/creamy.”
- “I’ll try it when I’m older.”
- “It smells like something I can’t eat.”
- “That looks too spicy.”
- “I’m allergic to that.”
Dealing with picky eaters can turn mealtimes into an exhausting and stressful ordeal for everyone involved. As parents, we want our children to be strong, healthy, and open to trying new foods—wouldn’t it be fantastic if they willingly devoured everything we placed in front of them? Unfortunately, for most kids, their food preferences lean more toward the likes of pizza than gourmet cuisine, and convincing them to try anything beyond their comfort zone is akin to trying to sneeze with your eyes open.
Changing My Approach
In the past, I tried every trick in the book—cajoling, negotiating, and pleading for just one tiny bite! The result? Whining, tears, and frustration (mostly mine). It was exhausting. Now, I’ve decided to change my approach to handling my own picky eaters. Here’s what I do:
When I prepare a meal—believe me, I’m not whipping up anything bizarre like sushi or liver—my kids have the choice to eat it or not. No more bargaining, compromising, or frustration at the dinner table.
As parents, we often have to choose our battles. For me, engaging in food wars is not a hill I’m prepared to die on. I’ve discovered that the less I push, the less they resist. Here’s how it usually unfolds in our household: After dinner is cooked, I simply ask if they would like to try what I’ve made. More often than not, they’re curious enough to ask for a taste and, surprisingly, sometimes they end up eating what I prepared.
If they decide not to eat it, they can prepare something else for themselves, but it needs to be relatively healthy and approved by either me or their dad—no junk food like chips or candy. Additionally, if they opt to make their own meal, they’re responsible for cleaning up after themselves.
This method works best for older kids who can handle the stove or oven, but even my 5-year-old can grab an apple, cheese stick, and a juice box from the fridge if she refuses to eat the savory pot roast I made.
Special Considerations
However, there are special situations to consider regarding mealtime challenges. There’s a significant difference between “picky eaters” and kids, like my 8-year-old, who have food aversions due to sensory processing issues. If you’re a parent dealing with these challenges, you know that each child requires specific considerations. My son’s refusal to eat my pot roast isn’t just stubbornness; he genuinely has sensory issues that I must respect. When he’s older and more capable, I’ll expect him to prepare his own meals too.
For the rest of my kids, though, I let them navigate their choices. Not interested in my delicious pot roast? That’s fine—more for me! But don’t even think about asking for a sandwich. I’ve made pot roast, and that’s the deal.
I’m not a short-order cook, nor will I engage in lengthy negotiations at the dinner table. If they choose to eat yogurt and carrots every night, that’s their prerogative. It’s far less stressful for all of us. My kids can make reasonable meal choices, and I can avoid pulling out my hair in frustration. It’s a win-win!
Final Thoughts
Most children won’t eat the diverse range of foods recommended by nutritionists. Perhaps we can hope they’ll at least taste something new if we let them dip veggies in melted chocolate, but that’s not really nutritious, is it?
If you have a child who’s an adventurous eater and eager to try new flavors, I’d love to hear your tips—seriously! Though my current approach works for us, I’m always open to new ideas.
I can almost hear my mom shaking her head as she reads this. Different strokes for different folks, right? Love you, Mom!
Additional Resources
For more insights on family dynamics, consider exploring this article. And if you’re curious about home insemination methods, you might find this resource helpful.
Summary
Navigating mealtime with picky eaters can be quite a challenge for parents. Instead of engaging in food battles, embracing a hands-off approach often proves more effective. Allowing children to choose whether to eat what’s served or prepare something healthy for themselves can reduce stress during mealtimes. Each child has unique needs, so it’s essential to adapt strategies accordingly. Ultimately, letting kids make reasonable choices empowers them while keeping mealtime frustration at bay.