As parents, it’s crucial to recognize that our children are not miniature versions of ourselves. They experience their own unique challenges, and what may seem trivial to us can feel monumental to them. Just the other day, my little one, Max, bounded off the school bus with an enthusiasm that hinted at something significant to share. I eagerly awaited his greeting, but instead, he rushed right past me, declaring, “I want pizza rolls!”
Pizza rolls? Seriously? I chuckled, thinking about how this was the urgent news he couldn’t wait to share. But Max was dead serious. “I’ve been dreaming about them since lunch! Please, Mom, I want pizza rolls!”
Unfortunately, dinner was already simmering on the stove, and I knew that if I gave in to his request, he’d likely refuse to eat the more nutritious meal I had prepared. I gently explained the situation and suggested a small snack instead, like a granola bar.
You’d think I had told him he could never eat again! His face fell, and with it, his composure. He sank to the floor, backpack still on, and wailed, “I hate it here!”
Ah, the melodrama.
Watching him sob over what seemed like such a little thing made me reflect on how significant these small issues are in the eyes of a child. As adults, we often have the perspective to differentiate between what’s truly worth worrying about and what isn’t. Through life experiences, we learn to navigate crises and understand that others may have it worse, but that doesn’t diminish our feelings.
For instance, while my friend Alex once faced a serious health scare, I can’t compare my fear to the struggles of another who might be dealing with even greater challenges. Each emotional experience is valid.
This principle applies to our children too. They haven’t yet encountered the same level of adversity we have, so their smaller concerns can genuinely feel overwhelming. Reflecting on this makes me realize how often I might have inadvertently downplayed their worries. What if my kids choose not to confide in me about more significant issues later because I dismissed their feelings now?
In that moment, I decided not to cater to his pizza roll request; dinner was still on the table. However, I didn’t belittle his emotions. Instead, I embraced him and validated his feelings, recognizing that for Max, this was a real crisis—even if it was just about food. It wouldn’t have served any purpose to remind him of how some kids struggle with much more severe issues. Instead, I chose to show empathy and understanding, regardless of how trivial it seemed to me.
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In summary, as parents, it’s essential to approach our children’s concerns with empathy and understanding. What may appear insignificant to us can hold immense weight in their world. By validating their feelings, we create an environment where they feel safe to express themselves, no matter how small the issue might seem.