If you’re involved in early childhood education, it’s vital to grasp the various stages of child development and set realistic expectations. Understanding age-appropriate behavior is crucial, alongside the ability to exercise patience and compassion toward the different levels of children in your care. This is particularly important for preschool-aged kids, which makes a recent newsletter shared by a parent from her child’s preschool all the more puzzling.
The newsletter begins by noting that it’s just the second month of preschool, then dives into a two-paragraph admonition directed at both the young children and their parents. The message reads:
“We’ve survived a challenging first month filled with tears, attitudes, and unwillingness to follow rules. There’s been excessive talking and not enough sitting in seats when asked. We work on these issues daily, but we also need support from home. We recognize that children prefer to play and chat, but that’s not how school operates. Preschool prepares them for ‘big’ school, where these behaviors are equally important. We cannot ignore that our kids dislike coloring and sitting still, as kindergarten and first grade involve a lot of that. Please spend five or ten minutes each day working with your child on these skills, and you’ll see progress. We understand that parents are busy, but adults must take charge to help children comprehend these concepts. Discuss with your child the significance of sharing, refraining from fights, keeping hands to themselves, and learning to cooperate. Also, remind them that once we clean up toys, they stay put, as we transition to learning fun things.”
Wow! My jaw dropped at the mention of “attitudes,” and I had to finish the letter before I could gather my thoughts. There are numerous issues with this communication that leave me astounded.
Let’s remember that preschoolers are typically aged 3 and 4. One parent noted that a child in the class isn’t even three yet. At this age, they are just beginning to develop basic verbal skills, many are still in diapers, most take naps, and they have notoriously short attention spans.
Let’s analyze what made the first month at this preschool so “tough”:
Tears:
It’s normal for preschoolers to cry. They are still learning to manage their emotions, and feelings can be overwhelming. If little ones aren’t accustomed to being away from their parents, separation anxiety can add to the stress. They often struggle when faced with expectations they cannot meet, which could very well be part of the issue here.
Attitudes and Unwillingness:
Again, we’re talking about 3- and 4-year-olds. At this stage, kids are exploring their independence, even if they lack the skills to navigate it effectively. “Unwillingness” is common when children are asked to do things they aren’t emotionally or developmentally ready for—like consistently following rules, sitting still, and sharing.
Not Obeying Rules:
Most preschools have a handful of simple rules, such as “Use your inside voice,” “Keep your hands to yourself,” and “Be kind.” Yet, expecting preschoolers to remember and abide by these rules without constant reminders is unrealistic, especially during the initial month of school. Learning to follow rules is part of the preschool experience, and it requires time and patience.
Too Much Talking and Not Enough Sitting:
This particular point is disheartening. Preschoolers learn through exploration and play. Expecting a 3-year-old to sit still for extended periods is absurd. Engaging young children and guiding them to follow directions is a nuanced skill; this is preschool, not boot camp.
Preparation for “Big” School:
Suggesting that a 3-year-old should color because they’ll do it in kindergarten disregards the significant developmental differences between a 3-year-old and a 6-year-old. Each preschooler develops at their own pace, and the curriculum should cater to their current stage of growth.
“We Realize It’s a Fast-Paced World and Parents Work”:
This part felt like a subtle jab at working parents, especially right after asking them to dedicate 5 or 10 minutes a day to their child. The underlying message seems to imply that if parents weren’t so occupied with their jobs, they could spend more time properly training their child for preschool.
One parent, who shared the newsletter, felt as though the teacher was implying her preschooler was a troublemaker. “Reading this newsletter initially made me uneasy. It felt like I was being reprimanded as a mother. Upon rereading it later, my anger grew. It came off as condescending, suggesting I wasn’t fulfilling my duties as a stay-at-home mom.”
The manner in which these grievances were conveyed to parents was also inappropriate. Has the teacher never heard of the “positivity sandwich”? When providing constructive feedback, it’s best to start with positives, address areas for growth, and then conclude with encouragement. Jumping straight into complaints about young children is poor form and unlikely to produce the desired results.
Despite my inclination to give people the benefit of the doubt, I can’t justify this newsletter’s tone—especially considering there are only eight children in this preschool class. The description of that first month conjured an image of an overwhelmed teacher handling a room full of 20 or more energetic kids. But eight preschoolers warranted such a critical response? Really?
If my child’s preschool sent home a letter like this, I’d pull them out of there so fast that the crayon caddy would spin. Anyone who criticizes 3-year-olds for their “attitudes” and “unwillingness” to sit and color on command during their first month of preschool should reconsider their role as an educator.
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In summary, the communication from the preschool raised numerous red flags about the understanding and expectations of early childhood education. It’s essential for educators to approach young children with empathy and recognize their developmental stages, rather than imposing unrealistic demands.
Keyphrase: preschool newsletter criticism
Tags: preschool behavior, child development, parenting advice, early education, teacher communication, preschool challenges, parenting tips