When it comes to parenting, we all know that sometimes you just have “one of those days.” But then there are those Epic Shitshow Disaster days that redefine chaos. This was precisely the experience shared by mom and Modern Family Blog contributor, Lisa Hartman, in her recent Facebook post. You might want to grab some tissues because you’ll be laughing so hard, you might shed a few tears.
To set the stage, Lisa begins her post on a serious note, recalling that her beloved dog had been in an accident last weekend, resulting in the unfortunate need for a leg amputation. As any pet owner knows, caring for a furry family member takes up a significant amount of time and energy.
But when a mom is preoccupied, you can bet that things can quickly spiral out of control. The chaos kicked off when her daughter, Lily, noticed a strange burning smell in their home.
“I smelled it too,” Lisa wrote. “It was like plastic melting. I checked the toaster—nothing. I ran upstairs to see if anyone left their hair tools on—still nothing.” The smell intensified, yet no smoke alarms were triggered, and there was no visible smoke. What’s a mom to do? Naturally, she had to wake her blissfully unaware husband, Mark.
“Panic set in, so I shook Mark awake, shouting, ‘WAKE UP! SOMETHING IS ON FIRE, AND I CAN’T FIND IT! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!’” Totally reasonable, right?
As you can imagine, he was less than thrilled, responding with confusion. “What now?” he asked. Lisa fired back, “SOMETHING IS BURNING IN THIS HOUSE! THERE ARE KIDS AND A HURT DOG! WE NEED TO ESCAPE NOW, PUT ON SOME PANTS AND HELP ME!”
The source of the burning smell? None other than her son, Max’s, singed sock lodged in the ceiling fan light fixture.
“OH MY GOD, WHAT IS HAPPENING? MAX, YOUR SOCK IS ABOUT TO SET OUR HOUSE ON FIRE! WHY IN THE WORLD IS YOUR STINKY SOCK ON THE LIGHT FIXTURE?” she exclaimed, standing on a chair and using one of Lily’s dolls—now sporting a melted head—to knock the flaming sock off the bulb. Meanwhile, Max simply shrugged and remarked, “Sock Fire would be a cool band name.”
If you’re not doubled over with laughter by now, you might want to check your funny bone. Lisa continued with a post-incident lecture for Max, “YOU REALIZE THIS COULD HAVE BEEN DISASTROUS, RIGHT? AND YES, SOCK FIRE WOULD MAKE A GREAT BAND NAME, BUT RIGHT NOW, OPEN THE WINDOWS AND WAVE YOUR ARMS AROUND BECAUSE THAT SMELL IS IN MY MOUTH! WE JUST WASHED OUR HAIR, AND I CAN’T SMELL LIKE A BONFIRE TODAY! NOW GET TO FLAILING, FIRESTARTER!”
After a moment of deep breathing (thanks to some post-Xanax calm), Lisa was grateful it wasn’t worse when one of her daughters called out that her sister, Lily, had found a baby squirrel who “wasn’t scared at all” being held. Curiosity piqued, she rushed to investigate.
To her horror, it turned out that Lily was holding a six-inch-long baby squirrel that was, unfortunately, very much dead.
We can’t breathe either! After realizing Lily was trying to keep the deceased squirrel “warm” in her shirt, Lisa had to bribe her daughter with Doritos and a fudge pop (as any mom would) to retrieve the carcass. “I placed his very limp body in a plastic bag, gave Lily a quick bleach scrub down, and delivered on my promise of Doritos and a fudge pop,” she recounted.
From the singed sock to the plastic-bagged squirrel, this day was truly extraordinary. And the kicker? “All of this happened before 7:00 a.m. That’s how life reminds you things can always get weirder, so just roll with it.”
For more parenting tips and stories, check out this blog post on artificial insemination kits that really dives into the journey of starting a family. For helpful resources on pregnancy and home insemination, Hopkins Medicine is an excellent source. If you’re looking for more relatable parenting experiences, visit Modern Family Blog for expert insights.
Summary
Lisa Hartman’s wild morning is a hilarious reminder of the unpredictable chaos of parenting. From a burning sock to a deceased squirrel, her story perfectly captures the essence of “one of those days.”