Last year, an article circulated that really struck a chord with many parents. It was titled “The Reason My Daughter May Punch Your Son.” At the time, my daughter was just starting kindergarten, and I thought I had ample time before facing such issues of harassment. I read and shared the article but didn’t fully absorb its implications.
Fast forward to today, and that time has come sooner than I expected.
“Mom, I got bullied today,” my daughter said as we walked home from school.
“Bullied?” I asked, skeptical. The term felt overused, and I had a hard time believing my spirited, independent little girl could be a target. After a bit of probing, she explained that some boys were chasing her on the playground. I advised her not to play with them if they bothered her. That seemed to put a lid on it for the moment.
Then, at dinner, she brought it up again during our daily highs and lows. “Some boys bullied me today,” she repeated. Since this was the second time she mentioned it, I decided to dig deeper.
“Tell me exactly what happened,” I prompted. She explained that some boys had been hitting her backside on the playground, and when she told them to stop, they laughed and called her chubby.
Let that sink in. Two boys laid hands on my daughter, and when she tried to assert herself, they responded with ridicule. It’s infuriating to think about where they might have picked up such behavior.
I felt rage boiling inside, but I composed myself and asked her what she did next. She told me she informed the teacher, but the boys didn’t stop. As she demonstrated what they had done, I realized they were crossing a line that should never be breached. But at just 6 years old, she didn’t fully grasp the severity of the situation.
We discussed how wrong their actions were, and I praised her for speaking up. However, she looked down and said, “Tomorrow, I’m just going to hide at recess.”
I gently lifted her chin so our eyes met, and firmly said, “No. You will not let two boys ruin your playtime. They are the ones breaking the rules. If they bother you again, tell them, ‘Keep your hands to yourself.’ If they don’t listen, tell the teacher. And if they continue, you can stand your ground—step on their feet, kick them in the shins, or aim lower if you need to. If you get in trouble, let the teacher know to call me.”
I explained that she might end up in the principal’s office, but we would handle it together. I wanted her to feel empowered to defend herself.
We must teach our children that harassment is a learned behavior. As parents, it’s our responsibility to ensure our sons (and daughters) understand the importance of respect. If I found out my son had acted inappropriately towards another child, there would be serious consequences. He knows to treat everyone, including your daughters, with respect. If he steps out of line, I want to be informed.
Parents, talk to your children about boundaries. They are not entitled to touch anyone without consent. My daughter’s body is not for their hands, and if they do touch her, she will stand up for herself, even if it means kicking your son where it hurts.
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In summary, we must equip our daughters to stand up against harassment while also educating our sons on the importance of consent and respect. Let’s create an environment where our children feel safe and empowered.